How do you stop being drunk?

Cocaine is a potential answer, but not a good one.

Drink water and wait, that's all you can do. There is no way to "stop being drunk". Protip: Don't drink too much in the first place.

In the words of disthing ... This is not an IIN question, why was it approved?

It took me 5 years

Lose a valuable item, such as your keys or phone or wallet. You will feel much more sober very quickly.

Failing that, drink water.

Don't get drunk in the first place

You don't sound very drunk

dont drink

Fall asleep.

We've all been there. Just sleep it off, and when you wake up, you'll decide, possibly over a bloody Mary or a mimosa, to never drink again.

Ain't drinking fun?
I imagine the room is spinning and very shortly you will have a long , in depth, relationship with a toilet. After you wake from that you will slowly begin to feel better.

Eat a cheeseburger and take a nap