How do you manage near complete social dysfunction?

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I put so much effort into listening to people and going out with them and paying attention to all their conversations which totally exhausts me and I cant even think of anything and just my mind feels sapped and it takes so much from me. And when they go I feel released and feel free and like I never want to go into that trap again of sitting around with people listening to them talk. I really cant be arsed with this shit. Im done with it now. People think I want to join in when I can barely understand whats going on and just want to get away.

The freedom of being alone or being with the one person who I get on with really well is so amazing and being with groups of acquaintances is so weird and wrong, like my personality isn't there, so I can't even think what I think. I can't access my thoughts and I don't know if I have any thoughts towards what they are saying anyway. I only have a personality with this one person mainly, and it takes no effort or anxiety to be with this person and its so much fun and feels so right. People think I'm scared to talk, stuck up, really shy etc. but to me they feel like shapes that I can't fit with. There's only been one person I really am myself with. I am not asking how can I change, coz theres no real reason for me to change, I don't need to sit around with acquaintances, mainly it was just to try it or I couldn't think of an excuse at the time. If this sounds like you, how have you managed it?

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Spiritearth
    9 years ago

    I experienced the same problem as you. It was actually after I left highschool, group socials just all of a sudden felt like a load of bullshit. I became more of an introvert and found that I never actually expressed my real self.

    I ended up drastically reducing my number of friends to just a handful, but dont be to picky. Finding a friend which has everything for you is rare, you generally find bits and pieces in friends you can relate too. I would ditch large gatherings if I was you, and try more one and one. I dont think you have social anxiety, just think large groups isnt your scene. Nothing wrong with wanting to be alone, embrace it. :)

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    I managed by spending a lot of time at home. I do a lot of indirect communication. I think I'm making up for all of those years! Lol. However, with me going to college soon, I will be forced to give up the freedom of limited communications and solitude.

    My mother is just like me, and she spends a lot of time at home. The difference, is that she doesn't engage with her friends at all and has not done so for years.

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  • Robotdaydream
    9 years ago

    Im kinda the same way but i dont really mind. i stopped hanging out with people i dont mesh well with after high school. whats the point in going out with people you dont like?

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  • chole
    9 years ago

    Less alcohol, more K, and regular hydration.

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