How do normal people date!

Ok. so im a female. im 19

ive dated before just not in what i would call a normal way. i have always sated older guys (23-28) and usually they move pretty fast.

so im trying to date guys my own age. and i met someone. hes 20. and hes really sweet. he doesn't wanna move too fast. were not even really dateing yet. im not used to the normal procedures for dating and i need help!

even if its just general dateing advice! i will take all the tips i can get!

wing it. 20
game plan. 7
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Dad

    Hi Female 19,

    I'll tell you the difference, so you understand what's happening.

    When you meet an older guy (lets say the 10 yr older guy, or more!) Things are fast. Usually they already have some career going, likely their own place, and basically on the road to success.
    They will wine and dine you, and expect that you stay (which is normal) and if it lasts more than 3 months then you'll likely be in a relationship.
    This 'relationship' will also move fast. Possibly some light talk on kids, or even moving in together or to some better location. Basically life is set.

    When you meet someone of your own age (19 you say). You will grow together. The times you have together provide the strongest of memories to both of you. You will both make and learn from your mistakes and experience things for the very first time together.
    The thrills and upsets will actually mean something, and won't just be an issue to move on from.
    Talks on future hopes and dreams will be done mutually. Absolutely nothing is set, as you both make a worthwhile life together.

    Yes there is some excitement and stability with an older man (by the way, I am stretching this a bit, because 29 in my view is still an immature mixed up young adult!).
    But this does not come anywhere close to two people sharing a life together for the first time.

    Stick with your age group.
    Anyway, that's just my opinion.

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    • taylor-mae14

      thanks its really good to get someones point of view. =) i will definitely remember this little "talk" lol. thanks again.

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  • bananaface

    Just be yourself. Is there really anything else to it? I don't see how you can plan for something like this.

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    • Mmmpfh

      This exactly. I'm a male, I never really date. I never ask someone out unless they look like they have the potential to be a long term partner. And I never come up with a plan. I just be myself, flaws and all. It's worked fine so far!

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  • Its better to go slow than fast, at least from my experience.

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  • There was this guy and he was saying that they make bullets out of frying pan material..and i said "yeah teflon or something"..he just went "no way i'm sure it's got something to do with walrus meats"..i just thought "fuck..what the fuck does eating a burger of walrus meat even have to do with a frying pan"..he goes "oh so you can cook it"..im like "what the shit you mean bullets"...he gets mad and says "why eat bullets and besides you cant cook metal"..so he goes and gets whats left of the screwdriver i gave him to stab the gopher living under my porch.."better eat that thing instead" i thought...he comes back and all surprised like..he goes "its not a gopher thing".."its a badger"..."a badger the hell it is..them things only live in britan".."nah"..he replies "they done come over too america on floating doors with big teeth and scary claws" i reeled back in shock.."really..a badger..if we had some frying pans we could shoot it?"..he said he wants to "catch a bird for winter"..and that "all the dust collects in utah just south of new york".."Why not just hose it out with liquid?"..."liquid" he snorts.."don't you know these things are big..and they can swim...you don't think they'd survive going across the atlantic ocean on doors without falling off them often"...i leaned back on my rockingchair.."hmmm..yeah..you're right" i said..."theres no way they'd risk it"....

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  • Corleone

    Just spend time together, and do whatever you feel comfortable with.
    Dating is supposed to be fun, it's not a strategy game.

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  • TreeGo

    I would suggest finding something you both like to do, something you both have in common. If you and your romantic interest both like hiking, then go visit the mountains. If you two like to gamble, go to Atlantic City. Start slow. Don't feel like you have to force anything. I would recommend treating him almost like one of your girlfriends, who you probably talk to freely and have lots of fun, but instead with him, you have the opportunity to develop something further. ;)

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  • Darkoil

    You should get him into bed, what if you end up really liking him and it turns out he has a small penis.

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    • taylor-mae14

      its funny you say that... Ive actually thought of this. but i guess if you really like someone it shouldnt matter? but it has crossed my mind if we aren't compatible in the bedroom.

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  • dappled

    Just get to know him. Do fun things that don't imply sex (like going to the zoo, going on a picnic, going to the beach, just spending time together). I'm not 20 any more but I like to take things slow too and I'd prefer a day at the zoo than a meal and then euphemistically asking if I can come in for coffee.

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  • Allistalla

    if your a female Id advise not teasing a man too much when you first start dating , dont give him nudes if he asks , and dont tease them by saying " baby this is what I imagine us doing " .or dont do sexy roelplay like through the text let him say " takes off shirt " and you reply in text " rubs hands up side " . For some reason this leads them to wanting or trying to rape you I dont know why its just a warning it happened to me .

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