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How do men deal with breakups ? Even if they’re the one who left the other person. Because every time they seem happy and able to move on quick. While women cry and eat ice cream and take months to move on.
Are you all so heartless ?
Pretty sure the have been studies that show that on average, men take longer to deal with breakups. It was largely to do.with their lack of social support compared to women.
Heartless? No. Men, at least in the past, were raised to be tough. Smash your finger? Don't cry pussy. Your friends would give you hell if you showed weakness. When you're raised your whole life to not show emotion, you tend to bury things.
When dealing with breakups, men tend to abuse their drug of choice for a little while, say disrespectful things about their ex, and try to nail every other woman in sight.
That's a sweeping generalization and not all men are like that of course but it holds true for a lot. When you go years suppressing your feelings, you learn to compartmentalize. It's why we can move on faster. Emotions are for wimps or something like that.
Also, I've seen a lot of women who have their next boyfriend picked out before they end their current relationship. So it goes both ways. Each sex can move on fast
Some of that's changing now, society is growing more tolerant of men who cry, show emotions, and not always act traditionally masculine. My (now late) grandfather told me when growing up in the 1920s and 1930s, that a man better never dare shed a tear in public or else you WOULD be seeing fists meeting your face. Even in the 1970s, we were still more like that. Men have softened up alot since then. It's almost the complete reverse for women though. The once "fairer" more soft, sweet, and feminine sex is now hardly soft and sweet no more. Once always wearing dresses, planting flowers, and letting men call the shots, are now doing EVERYTHING that men have always done and are out there being as aggressive, assertive, and rude as the toughest men ever were.
Men cry too, they just don't like to show it, which is why suicide rates are higher in men. I've had a friend deal with a breakup, I saw him tired and depressed for months. He later moved, and got a new girlfriend. They seem like a really nice couple, but now they're so busy that he doesn't talk XD. That's life.
Actually, men tend to be worse at coping with a break-up.
Women often go through more pain in the aftermath. Friends and family usually encourage or tolerate them as they express their emotions. They're more hurt in the moment, but working through their grief is much healthier and they're better able to recover
Men are discouraged from expressing most emotions. Anger and sex are encouraged, but if they express other emotions they're attacked as unmanly or weak.
Friends and family are more likely to tell them "just get over it", "date someone else", "stop thinking about this", etc instead of listening or encouraging them to express grief. This encourages them to suppress their grief, rather than work through it. They are more likely to use alcohol and isolation as coping mechanisms. By avoiding the pain that goes with processing feelings of grief, they do better in the short term. But grief does not go away when suppressed. It lingers on as an open wound, never fully healing, and does serious, continuing damage to their capacity to have successful, healthy relationships
"My girlfriends cry to me about their breakups but my guy friends don't. WhY iS tHiS?"
Are you really this naive?
Simply, in my case anyways, some people are better at hiding their feelings than others y’know, giving them the impression that everything is A-ok. Both men and woman indiscriminately can be very good at this, so it’s not just us guys.
But I know my last breakup didn’t go particularly well emotionally...at all. I get attached to people easily, and honestly? I would have done everything for her. But, vaguely put, we had an argument which lead to us distancing ourselves. I pretended to be ok with it (part on part because I didn’t want to look desperate), but I went back home in tears. It really affected me. But I just...smiled it off...
I think most people are like this. We don’t like to look weak, we don’t like to look like losers, so we stay visibly strong. For some, our emotions are something we only submit to behind closed doors. You could still apply this to the aspects of masculinity, but I think both men and woman feel like this on the inside. No breakup goes smoothly, remember that...
There are not as many women anymore, at least not under 40, definitely not under 30, who are desperately wanting to settle down with just one man. More women today just want to play the field and be promiscuous, and are not getting tied up in deeper, longer term romances, and therefore when dumped not crying for days or weeks or eating lots of ice cream (I'm going to google and see if Hagendaz and Ben and Jerry's is doing less business today than once before, lol). More women now prefer multiple partners, one reason is because that doing that will spare them the pain and hurt of being dumped. They're also doing it because they want more variety and excitement and don't find staying with just one man enough to get out of life. In other words, it takes more to please people today than it once did. Both men and women, it's not just sex but with everything in life, people were once more satisfied with less and were more simple