How do i tell my boyfriend i want him to hurt me?

5 Comments

I’m turned on by the thought of having sex whilst my boyfriend strangles me or holds a knife to my throat. I also want him to hit me and say degrading things to me but I’ve never told him any of this because I don’t know if he’d be into it. Are most men into this sort of thing? How do I tell him?

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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Don't worry about how on average men are into this or not, it's only important if your partner is into it or not.

    I'd just tell him about your fantasies. He might be freaked out a bit, so you can ask him to stay with something simple and build it up from there. Also ask him if he has any secret fantasies you can help him with.

    Communication is everything

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  • curious-bunny
    5 years ago

    That's a trully tricky thing to approach, I would suggest by starting simple with spankings and the like and proceed slowly from there

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  • RavenStarr
    5 years ago

    Start probing subtly if he's interested in BDSM... If he is then one night stand before him in leather and a collar around your neck and say "Punish me, Master" ;)

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I would love to satisfy your fantasies

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  • HypnoDom
    5 years ago

    I wouldn't say that "most" men are into that, but plenty of people have such fantasies. They may practice it in different ways or to different extremes.

    Plenty of women enjoy being called names during sex, for example. A lot enjoy being spanked. Some enjoy being slapped. Plenty of women find it arousing to be roughly grabbed by the throat and controlled. Some enjoy breath play in various means. Knives (edge play) are a bit more extreme. Some use toy knives.

    Don't feel ashamed of your kinks. So you like to be rough. No big deal.

    But be very, very careful when it comes to safety. Learn about your kinks. Research mistakes to avoid. Make sure that you can wholly trust your partner. And definitely start slow and simple and experiment gradually.

    Far too many couples never discuss their sexual fantasies. Start there. Ask about his. Tell him about some of yours. Perhaps point out a scene in a movie you watch that turns you on. Start with something simple and see if he's willing to do that with you. Or discuss a roleplay scenario with him that involves a little of the treatment you want.

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