How do i "take control?"

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Okay, so a few years back I had a pretty damaging relationship with a guy who was really only interested in sex. It was my first relationship. He was only interested in getting it off, and so I didn't learn very much about intimacy, technique and such (sort of a "lie there and take it" mentality in bed).
I'm now in a fantastic relationship with a guy who I'm very much in love with, but the problem remains--I have so little experience! I've asked him if there's anything he'd like and that I'm open, but he, probably for the sake of my self-esteem, says he's fine or tells me to "just experiment." He pleases me, but I can't quite enjoy myself fully without knowing that I'm pleasing him, too. I do have confidence issues that I'm trying to work on, but it's slow going. Is it normal to feel this way? Am I worrying too much?

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Comments ( 2 )
  • aduusw
    12 years ago

    Just experiment

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  • marley56
    13 years ago

    Hey.. This sounds exactly like my relationship! Only from the guys point of view.

    For one, I really only like doing stuff for my gf, and hated getting stuff. I'm not sure why, I guess it was just way more a turn on for me to pleasure her, and that's all I really needed.

    However, that doesn't answer ur question. Personally, I find it a major turn on when a girl has no idea what she's doing! It's like it reminds me that she's not sleeping around or whatever. Plus, it gives off the whole "let's learn together" vibe. If your boyfriend really loves u, it won't matter how "experienced" you are in bed. It will just be awesome to be with u at all. And don't pressure him to accept stuff from u.. Sone guys seriously DONT WANT ANYTHING. But if you feel that he really says this to be nice, then maybe don't ask him, just just start doing something? But make sure that your perception of the situation isn't messing up the truth. Low self esteem does that.

    Hope this helps!

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