How do i get less attention from society? very frustrated.

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6 Comments

I'm a guy. I thrive under lack of attention. I thrive when under the radar. Getting attention from a girlfriend or friend is different, I like and appreciate that. But not people. I'd rather be a nobody with people. When I go to a gathering I want to blend in. Not stand out. Maybe I have social anxiety, but that's not the point here.

My entire life I have been singled out and had a spotlight put on me by society. People think I am smart because I am quiet. Some think I just look smart. They dont know how dumb I really am. And believe me I am dumb. I am slow. It often takes me a few seconds to process what people said or understand a joke. Some people think I am perfect and a do-gooder. I have failed at so many things in life. Imagine the pressure that you have to live up to their assumption of you being a genius, wise, brilliant, perfect. It's fucking overwhelming.

While I usually swallow such frustrations and move on, what's finally popped the balloon and made me make this post is my literature course. I keep quiet and listen to everyone discuss. I enjoy listening. Other people have very interesting and funny things to say. I dont speak because I am strongly opinionated and have airtight point of views. (In layman terms, I am a buzzkill. And what I say ends up being the "period" to discussions. Not ellipses) If the room were absolutely quiet, I would speak and redeem the liveliness of the room. But the room isn't quiet, so I feel no need to speak. I smile and laugh at other people's comments that are laced with levity. But My professor ALWAYS picks on me and calls me out. The first few weeks she picked on me to get my opinion on things, but ever since I wrote my term paper that got me 97/100. She brings that up ALL the time now, calls it brilliant the best paper she ever read (which I suspect is BS and maybe her intention to appease me) and associates the word brilliant with me. This is a high level english course and I got a 97 on a 3 page paper that I wrote in 3 hours. You can see why I am skeptical of the grade I got. But anyway, she has brought the paper up in 3 different classes now. And then EVERYONE looks at me. And then everyone gets quiet because they expect me to say something. It's so mortifying and embarrassing. There are others in the room who dont talk and arent picked on. Why cant I be treated like them?

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67% Normal
Based on 9 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • CloverFish
    9 years ago

    I know all about that sort of thing; i'm highly introverted and freak out immensely under pressure.

    Unfortunately, I don't have too much advice for this. I'd have a word with your teacher about how you really hate the attention. Maybe ask her to not mention your name anymore when talking about the paper. Soon, the attention will fade away; it's pretty much always like that.

    As for the compliment, i'd try and take it to heart that you did well. Sometimes the stuff you poop out can really affect a person positively, so I wouldn't shoot down how well you did. Even if you consider yourself bad at things, moments of achievement should be treasured, even if it's just for a small while.

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  • pusssyeater
    9 years ago

    Fail your next homework assignment :-)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      LOL. I would if I could fail it and still make an A.

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  • sam90026
    9 years ago

    Most people suck. Stop surrounding yourself what shitty people and learn to be okay with getting attention. Your teacher is just trying to push you to get the other students to step up their work. School is a temporary and a small part of your life. Most people u go to school with you will never see again. Don't let this consume you. Focus on doing your best, and stop judging yourself, and other people in a negative fashion. Try to only look at things positively, and love your self, and I promise things will all be okay.

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  • deadtea
    9 years ago

    It happens to a lot of people who were in the spotlight since childhood because of their parents/teachers. You don't feel the pressure until you start questioning yourself and all you've done. You seem to be pretty critical about yourself and that's good when you're trying to improve but on the other hand you're lowering your self-esteem so much. You shouldn't. You really are good at what you're doing, you just don't feel it. Others can feel it by looking at you because they're not you, if it makes sense at all... All your thoughts match a typical introvert and because of that I'd say it's normal and you shouldn't worry so much. Just keep doing your thing and don't care wether you're getting the attention or not. I know it's not easy but focusing on what you're doing will also get your mind off of nasty things. Also, CloverFish is right, you might want to talk to your teacher about it and ask to tone it down.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You seem to have poor self esteem. Nobody is good or bad at everything. We all have strengths and weakness at different things. I get it would be annoying if everyone expects you to do things for them but learn to take a compliment.

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