How do i get him to leave me alone?

24% Normal

Okay before I write this i just want to say I do care about this guy but only as a friend**
He texts me non stop everyday good morning beautiful goodnight beautiful. and has told me many many times that he is in love with me. Mind you we have not had sex, kissed, dated or anything of that nature. And I have told him all the time I'm sorry i think of you as like my brother. And it's to the point where its making me go crazy. He wants to hang out every day. He will be in public with me trying to hold my hand and laying on me constantly touching me and literally cock blocking me when i meet any new guys!
He has told his family about me and his parents. he told them he's in love with me and they act like I'm his girl friend when I'm not?
I have told him to stop so many times. I am in no way attracted to him but i do care about him as a friend. No matter how many times I tell him were only friends he always manages to say I'll wait for you or something of that nature. Which creeps me out a bit to be honest. And he's older than me by far and is wasting his time on me when he could be meeting a beautiful woman. I'd hate to see him go from my life but just can't deal with it any more. He's making me uncomfortable.

IIN? & what's the best way to go about this situation?

Voting Results

24% Normal

Based on 17 votes (4 yes)

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Comments ( 24 )

Robotdaydream

9 years ago

Tell him you have a penis

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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  I was going to say aids
  
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  - Robotdaydream
    
    9 years ago
    
    Penis with aids. Lets see how much he loves you now anon
    
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Cease ALL communication with this guy immediately! What do you see in this lunatic that makes you still want to be friends with him? Stop.
Do not talk to him, do not text him, do not call or accept calls from him and do NOT go out in public with him.
He is obviously so out of touch with reality and every time you read his texts or see him you fuel his insanity.

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TrustMeImLying

9 years ago

I'm sorry but how can you even call someone who acts like that your friend? -Unless- the problem here is that you've been reluctant and hesitant to give him a clear/firm message, he is basically harassing you. I understand you have an emotional attachment to him because he's your friend, but that attachment and a resulting inclination to be "nice" may be the very thing enabling him to continually act this way.

In my book a true friend calls you out on your bullshit. (because if someone wanted coddling and placating you can get that from any stranger on the street.) So be a good friend, and tell him in a polite yet stern way to cut it out. I grew up watching how my older sister went about handling a few stalkers/harassers -- and I think I can boil it down to a 3-step process. If things get out of hand, you make your intentions clear in a firm/serious manner, if that doesn't work you don't engage the person at all so as to not encourage them (resistance actually encourages some people). LAST resort, you call the cops on the idiot. As for the fact that you care about him, think of it this way, you calling the cops on him is way better than the next person treating him to a punch in the face.

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GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!

9 years ago

This is why women and men can't be friends. Someone always wants more.

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thats not always true. Half my friends are female and I have little to no dating interest in most of them. Even the ones I have had interest in I could take or leave the situation.
  Having female friends gives me the experience of taking girls out without the burden of living with them. I do think I have signifantly less needs and attachment than most people though, which may make me better at this. I do have friends who complain about someone not liking them back and I just dont get why anyone is interested in someone who does not show the same affection.
  
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  - harddrystickysocks
    
    9 years ago
    
    Sometimes i will tell my girlfriend at random and uncalled for times that im going to slice my penis off with a razor blade.
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      Don't do meow meow.
      http://gawker.com/teenager-stabs-mother-slices-off-his-penis-while-high-1498022120
      
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      - harddrystickysocks
        
        9 years ago
        
        I actually have tried bath salts back when you could still buy them at head shops.
        
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

RUN!

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

He sounds really needy. Try communicating with him less and if he presists you can get a restraining order.

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theseeker

9 years ago

If he's that delusional, then the only thing you can do is erase him from your life because it sounds like being around him is only making the situation worse. Just be cautious, there are some crazy people in the world. Good luck.

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Short4Words

9 years ago

Stop returning his calls or texts.

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  that's six, sorry couldn't help it.
  
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  - Short4Words
    
    9 years ago
    
    ..I really gotta change my name.
    
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modernism

9 years ago

My stalker radar is going off. Big time.

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regisphilbin

9 years ago

This is the culture we live in. Even a clear "no" from a woman is taken lightly and is not considered seriously by some men who see it as a form of denial or "playing hard to get". Simply, it comes down to a lack of respect. If he has any respect for you, he will stop acting obsessively over you after you let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. If he can't respect that, then you have to tell him that you are going to end this friendship.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Yeah you might need to get a restraining order against him because he sounds like a potential stalker.

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Dazed_dreamer

9 years ago

cut all connections and hope that he finds someone else, someone who isn't a replica of you.. although im sure he would since hes obsessed with you

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Ellenna

9 years ago

He's a stalker and mentally unbalanced. He's not a friend and I can't imagine why you think he is: a friend would respect your wishes and listen to what you're telling him.

He's obsessed with you and that's dangerous for you. The Catch 22 for women in this situation is that if we're polite it's interpreted as encouragement and if we get tough it can be dangerous.

I notice none of the men on here are offering to get tough with him on your behalf - it shouldn't be just your problem! Anyone in your family or friendship group who could stand WITH you in being clear with him that you want no further contact?

I really feel for you and I'm sorry but I have no helpful advice I can give: I'm also being stalked, by someone who raped me 4 1/2 years ago (not charged) and police will do nothing in spite of a restraining order.

You could try being totally clear with him (I'd suggest by text) that you don't want to hear from him again, but organise some protection for yourself first because on your description he won't react favourably. If you've kept all his texts in your phone this might be enough evidence for a restraining order, I don't know the law where you are.

All the best, I'm so sorry to hear of another woman in this scray situation, it's all too common. Any women's groups where you could get some support?

Please take care and let us know what happens because I for one will be wondering

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JD777

9 years ago

He's called a remora (the scavenger fish that latch onto sharks). Guys hate dating a woman with a remora, because even when the girl says "oh, he's just a friend", the guy knows there's something else going on. You'll have to be painfully blunt and tell him to back off and stay away.

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- JD777
  
  9 years ago
  
  Oh.....two things - 1) he knows he is preventing you from getting a boyfriend by being a remora. And 2) if you have a weak moment, like how he attends to you and make him your actual boyfriend, you can not imagine how a guy like this will be possessive and smother you.
  
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dickwashington

9 years ago

maybe just take some space say your busy don't completely break contact but don't spend as much time he might get the hint or find interest in a different girl and/or give you time to find a guy that we he will get the hint then resume your friendship

if that makes sense i just ranted

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How do i get him to leave me alone?