How do i forgive?

My parents and I are refugees from another country. Where we're from, what you do behind close doors is your business. That's why when my father was physically and mentally abusing my mother, myself, and my sister (who was born in the US). It seemed normal. He would get angry at the smallest things, like if we left something on the table where he was going to eat or if we left the dishes unwashed. I still remember seeing my mother cowering on the ground of our apt with a bleeding lip and crying. It had been going on for as long The only way I could escape was by reading, but even he took that away from me. He burned one of my books in the fireplace right in front of my eyes. I was twelve then and my sister was ten. Then when I was sixteen, he tried to kill my mother with a garden sickle. He would have kill or beat her if I hadn't been standing in the way. What was worst was that my five-year old brother was watching the entire thing. He's thirteen now and he's having behavior troubles, which I can't really fault him for. Sometimes, I feel as if my parents don't understand where my anger comes from at time. They call me a hateful, little, ungrateful child when I talk back and or get angry. But who was the one who supported them when they both had no jobs? When I was sixteen I had to support my entire family on what I made at my job and still managed school. When I graduate highschool. They weren't there. My mother working and my father too lazy to go. When I graduate college, they weren't there either. I just feel like all the struggling I've done for them means nothing to them. I love my parents. But I have them at the same time. Just thinking about them and the hell they put me through makes me want to burst out into tears. There are times when I think that if I had a gun, I would shoot them without a second thought. Then, I would feel guilty. Sometimes, I think the only thing keeping me sane and from breaking is my will. I want to find some peace with my parents. My father isn't violent anymore. He went to some angry-management class, and improved. When I scream at my brother or sister or get the violent urge to break something or someone, I become scared that I will become him. I want to forgive my parents, my mother the most because I blame her for being a coward, but it's very hard.What should I do?

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36% Normal
Based on 39 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Kimbalito

    All men who do that are stupid. ^ And should slowly die by being burned, drowned, or have their limbs ripped off their body then heads cuts off. Never forgive.

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  • nnee

    Forgive them or you will never be able to move on with your life they willl have to answer to someone one day

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  • Chooseyourweapon

    Whatever you do, do not hate. Hatred a form of ignorance, because it implies that you believe the person you hate desired to do evil for evil's sake. No human is really capable of such thinking, thus, hatred is ignorance. Your father never learned how to properly deal with his feelings. If you hate him for that, you are being influenced by the same spirit that created him. If your father has truly changed then the best thing to do would be to prove your inner strength and forgive him.

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    • paperless

      Wow, that was a nice read.

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  • mistyluvr

    It is a great thing that you recognize that you need to forgive. It is the only way you will be set free. I don't know how to help you personally. I have my own forgiveness issues, but for me, I am relying on God to change my heart because I am willing to forgive. Just that willingness is enough and I continue to keep that commitment to Him. Beyond that, it will be Him healing me. I 100%% believe this. Forgiveness is divine. One can not forgive things like that in their own strength. Maybe you might consider working together with God like that. It might help. Maybe search out 'Inner Healing' on the internet.

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  • Check out counseling & anger management yourself - you had poor examples, whatever they (your parents) had been through. I hope you are building normal peaceful friendships and a life separate from your family.

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  • nancygonzalez

    I don't think you should blame your mother. It seems like she was just a victim. As for your father I could not forgive him. Certain people deserve forgiveness but others don't. If I were you I would make peace with them. I would accept them. I think forgiving though shows some kind of approval.

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  • ladydjdreamer

    i hated my father for leaving my mom the way he did. he left her for someone way younger. i didn't think i could ever forgive him but now i see that he is paying for that now. its going to be hard to forgive but you have to. talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. if they dont respond the way you want them too dont get mad. just do it so you can be at peace with yourself

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  • don't forgive them

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  • UsernameNotAvailable

    Don't forgive. You have a right not to forgive. Many people move on with there lives. Its not like not forgiving them is going to kill you and you shouldn't feel guilty for not forgiving because you didn't do anything wrong.

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  • Isolated

    You don't have to forgive your parents if they don't need your forgiveness. When they do, you still don't have to because you can only forgive them when you're ready to accept the fact that you would put the past behind you.

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  • imsogreat

    No it is the man in the family who runs it, if my wife acted like so whore i would beat her and trust me it i had bad son like you i would have beat you to dead long time ago

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    • imsogreat

      stupid american you let your wemon spend all your money and fuck the pool cleaners then go home let them talk shit to you, control your wemon disapline them!

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  • tatorizzle

    Dont forgive

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  • Xerxes

    Go on a Rampage

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