How do i find my confidence

57% Normal
1 Comment

Hi,

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months (roughly). He's amazing. Very supportive, very open and understanding. He's the type of man I've dreamed about meeting and I am so lucky to have found him. And the best part is, he feels the same way about me. We are very much in love and I've never felt as safe as I do when I'm with him.

The problem is when we aren't together. I am the child of a traumatic divorce and as a result I have pretty severe abandonment issues. When we aren't together, I am constantly afraid that he will forget me or that he will disappear and I will never see him again. Now, I know that with my boyfriend, these insecurities are unfounded. He always calls and he's always there. I've expressed my fears and he has taken appropriate steps to calm them (not that he should have to but he does). But I truly feel that I should be able to get through a day without having the mental battle with myself over when I will see/hear from him again. It's exhausting for me and I'm sure for him as well. I do a lot of talking myself off the ledge. Does anyone out there have any advice on how I can begin to rebuild my sense of security and calm down? He's a great guy and I'm a great girl and we both deserve to feel happy and safe in this relationship.

Thanks in advance.

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57% Normal
Based on 23 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Eye_of_the_beholder
    14 years ago

    The first thing that sprang to mind is to ask how old you are - one of my ideas is that perhaps taking your relationship to another level and getting married may offer you solid knowledge that you are able to trust him. If you are quite young and/or feel that marriage is inappropriate for your situation, may be you could attend a 'confidence class' or psycotherapy. I know - 'Psycotherapy' is a daunting word. God, when it was suggested to me i thought 'Oh hell. I'm crazy aren't I?'. But you'll be suprised - at the end of the day you are simply talking to someone who won't judge you and has experience with helping people with emotional trauma. If you get to grips with your past you will finally be able to look forward to your future - hopefully with this lovely sounding man at your side - without the un-needed stress. Another good thing to do is to just talk to a trusted friend or relative. From your letter it strikes me that you feel like you need to open up to some human or another - why else would you have confided in a website to give you advice? I really hope i have helped in some way - good luck and all my best wishes xx

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