How do i eliminate deep brainwashing?

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Throughout my entire childhood into adulthood, my parents were given over to lecturing me for hours when I did anything wrong. Often, this would involve being sat at a table for several hours and verbally bullied; at best I sat there and said nothing whilst their tirade of negative messages such as "you can't do anything right" were levied at me.

For years I had forgotten about this or only joked about it. But now into later life and even now my parents are dead, looking at my patterns of events, there is no doubt this is where they came from.

Even the methods used (late at night when I was very tired and scared, with bright lights making me feel worse, loud, relentless voices etc) were similar to interrogation methods used in cults. I just don\'t know how to eliminate it and I cannot afford any treatment at all.

Does anybody know how to deal with such a problems? [

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Based on 25 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    just had a vision of a guy playing guitar and singing to people in a room , why i dont know..i hope i helped cause thats sad

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    • jeebley
      10 years ago

      maybe it was charles manson

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Are you saying that your whole life has been a miserable failure, because "you can't do anything right" was instilled in you and you believed it? And that's the way it happened?
    I'm not being shitty; it is important to get an idea of what your problem actually is.
    I find it amazing how many people have children and proceed to torture them the whole time they should be nurturing and teaching them. Ain't "god's greatest creation" wonderful?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      "Belief" is the wrong word. When you are relentlessly brainwashed, patterns develop that run so deep, they are practically impossible to break and you often don't see them.

      Give you and example: every message i received about womanhood was negative. So anytime I am in a relationship, the pattern kicks in to every single aspect from cooking to, eating a meal in company to relations with my man, to anything that remotely says "i am a woman.". I feel an indescribable shame. You don't even realise it until you are on your own and recognise the difference in feeling. The very presence activates the patterns unconsciously.

      Likewise, many of the decisions i have made at the root i now see were unconsciously pushed by this negative programming. When a parent simply doesn't comment about anything you do well but only focuses on the bad you have done and never allows you to forget it decades later either, it messes you up. But it also produces a kind of unconscious loyalty to them, hard to describe but no doubt because you have no self esteem (a young child cannot filter good from bad messages but is dependant on parents for survival so must learn to please them somehow) and no way of seeing you can do good after all. Seriously, you set the lowest goals because at some level, you feel certain you can't do better and the family reinforce it. So i didn't have kids, never believed i could do better than part time cleaning with social security help (and postgraduate education!) and live like a pauper. i have no self-belief, literally.

      But yeah: it's actually f**ked my whole life up to the point of suicidal feelings.

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        You cant do anything now. You are an adult and its over. You have to get over it. There is no going back.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I'm not sure how to eliminate it but I believe I may be immune to brainwashing so I might be able to give you some advice by sharing how I think.
    My whole life I have questioned everything. If someone tells me something I don't agree with I completely disregard it. I wont do anything I don't want to do. This doesn't mean I don't do anything nice, but if I'm requested to do something I don't want to I wont. I would probably do really bad in the military because of how much I hate to listen. I think most the things people believe seem brainwashed into them. Religion, political labels, social morals, even societies obsession with romance all seem like things that people follow from the time they are born. I have never been able to comprehend why people are followers. I'm not sure how therapy works either and I think it's over rated. I've been to therapy for other issues and it seems to be a waste of time. I don't understand how it works for anyone nor why people can't answer their own questions. The most important opinion will always be your own and everyone should disregard what their told.

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  • jeebley
    10 years ago

    Oh my God, that's insane.... you don't deserve that. You need to overcome all this negative programming and I think it IS possible. The only thing I know of is like some NLP visualisation type exercises to basically shift your self-image. Or self-hypnosis. I'm no expert but I definitely think you CAN overcome this.

    You're already on the right track by recognising where these patterns and behaviour came from. I think that's a good thing, although focus on how you want to be rather than the possible reasons (potential excuses) for how you are now.

    I wish you the best of luck and I honestly think you can come a long way by yourself, without necessarily going to therapy etc.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Try Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families and or Codependents Anonymous.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    Look into "EMDR or Hypnotherapy". These might be able to get rid of their doctrines.

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