How can you distinguish the type of guy you are with?

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16 Comments

I am pretty much torn at this point. I have been before and I went with my "instincts" and everything has been going really well. But once he fucks up again, I just can't seem to get it together. The guy I've been seeing is just a mess. They're only a mess when they mean a lot to you. At this point, I ready to move on but not with me killing it. I don't want to be the one to chase him away when I confront him about what's wrong this time. He says that's just who he is and I've believed it because yeah he just seems that way and his past relationships have suffered from it. So I've come to accept his flaws. But eventually, I connect the dots and it just tells me how he is not that into me. Things like leaving me hanging and not communicating, or showing me to people, are what bugs me. But then others say that some people like to have a break from talking, don't like talking all the time, like their space, basically its nothing personal. So I consider he is one of those types kind of how I am too but I do really like him so I don't mind talking to him all the time. I just don't know what to believe. Is he playing with me or is he just that type of person and shouldn't take these small things personal? Like I said before, I don't want to chase him away by creating something in my head that didn't exist, something girls do often but can you blame them? when guys can be so confusing. What are some things that can distinguish he is just like that versus he is playing around?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 27 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • LizardSkin
    9 years ago

    I bet that sounded coherent in your head hmm?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I did not fully understand this, but people need different amounts of space from each other.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Are you a masochist?

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  • dasugaknows
    9 years ago

    Besides this not communicating (which i assume is by phone?) Are there any other issues? Can you explain what you meant when you said he shows you to other people? Also, how long does he go without communicating with you. Depending on how serious the relationship is, i would say a day is acceptable.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Its not that serious but it is to the point where we do couple things. He's been acting distant lately. He used to all day every day and now its like once a day or nothing at all. I don't get it.

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      • dasugaknows
        9 years ago

        If it wasnt that serious then i would say maybe he either lost interest or found somebody else hes interested in.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          But then he pops out of nowhere saying nice things like he just does his own thing but also likes having me around. When I say his own thing I don't mean go out and be with other girls cause he's not like that but more hang out w his guy friends or cousins or working and stuff.

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          • dasugaknows
            9 years ago

            Regardless of the reason, this should not happen all the time. You deserve better than this crap. It sounds to me like you are very good at giving him space and yet thats not enough for him.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    He wants space on his own terms. He is bad at intimacy. Things won't get better. Find a new guy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I've accepted him as in wanting his own space because I can be like that too so I know how he feels but at the same time, I don't know if it is just him or its a sign that he just doesn't like me as much. He's not good at intimacy and he's admitted that so I don't wanna give him a hard time trying to make him better at that when that's just who he is. So if it is just cause that's who he is then I accept it. But I want to know the truth if its not because he's not into me.

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      • green_boogers
        9 years ago

        In either case, you won't have the happiness that intimacy can give you and a partner. Why would you want your life to be void of this happiness? Isn't that the essence of life?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          It all comes down to how much I like him and I like him so much. I'm a single woman yet haven't come across anyone and don't want to. Until I feel like I can find someone better, I think I'll be dealing with his shit or let him go and be sad for a really long time. Until I feel like I can let him go without feeling that sadness, I think I just rather have him around. For me, happiness (in this case) is when I get a text or hear from him. I literally get high off his presence. When I do get that rare intimacy from him, it's great I love it but I am surprised when he does get intimate. I just like him. Everyone likes someone that has something they are not too fond of and as for me, I like him but one of the things that I would like more of him is intimacy and communication. One of the reasons why I stick around is because I feel like thats just who he is since with other people, I don't see him giving them as much attention as I would like him to give me. So it kind of convinces me that its not because he is not into me, its cause thats just how he is. If I take it too personal, then I'll chase him away and later regret bothering him about it because at the end of the day, it was me who wanted more from him when he was giving everything he could have at the time. I remember he was hands on in the beginning always contacting me and now cause he has me, he's not putting that much effort which is normal. So that on top of his personality just lacking the effort, yeah its hard dealing with it but you know when they say "I rather be fighting with you than be 'happy' with someone else," I guess that's just the case. So in other words, i rather lack intimacy with him, someone I like a lot, than have intimacy with someone I don't like.

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          • green_boogers
            9 years ago

            Hmmmm. He might be a good candidate for you if your possessiveness becomes an issue. You seem satisfied with his preexisting defense against it. You'll have to become a more isolated individual. Slam bang sex will be important in maintaining a connection.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              Not quite what you meant. Can you please explain especially the first two statements?

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  • SoulessSam
    9 years ago

    If he's into you he will not leave you hanging and he will not use an excuse as cliche as "I need my space, its not personal" just to get you to leave him alone. If a guy tells you he likes his space it means he does not take you seriously. Move on.

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