How can i stop my friend from being depressed?

Ok, you need to listen to me seriously. Three and a half months ago my friend took her own life. It was partly because she felt so in love with someone she couldn't have, that she couldn't stand it. She knew she couldn't have him. He understood why not. She knew her obsession with him was not normal. And four days before she killed herself, the day she first confided in me about this, I introduced to her the possibility that it wasn't really him she was in love with, but what he represented to her... an idea she seemed to take on board.

But she still killed herself and I had NO IDEA that she was going to do that to herself so soon. After our talk and a few more in the days after that, I decided that she needed REAL help and was going to drag to to a doctor, but I didn't know when I made that decision that she was already lying dead in her home.

So Seriously... maybe this person is just a manipulative dick. On the other hand maybe he really needs help. Use Facebook to get in touch with family members of his right NOW.. ( parents and siblings )Tell them what you know and make sure they go to him right away, talk to him and take him to get help. If it turns out you are exaggerating, who cares. It beats sitting at 2.39am on a Sunday morning writing messages like these to strangers because you wish you did the same thing yourself.

I have mixed feelings on this. I'll take your word when you say that he is generally a nice guy, but saying such a threatening thing to your girlfriend is VERY odd. He'll get over her eventually, he just needs to find someone else.

Hmm.. weird. I would never let someone push me with threats of suicide ever again. Been there, done that. Don't feel sorry for him. What a stupid and selfish way to express himself. Depression is a bitch. If you don't understand it, don't try to help. The depressed can only pull themselves out of the hole. No one can help. He needs to better himself and love himself before others can. If he keeps talking about self mutilation, go to someone for help. Don't take it lightly. There is always some truth behind ANY suicide threat.

Alright, first off, there's nothing you can do that will just sure-fire snap him out of it. His mood will change based on his decisions to change it.

Second, and this is very important, determine if he was serious about self harm, or if it was just a means by which to get attention. Compare it to what you know about his personality; if he was serious, it might be best to get him mental help. If he was just saying it as a means to be close to your girlfriend, that's a possible sign of a manipulative personality. People with manipulative personalities are not nice people to be friends with when you have something they want.

Third, the way I've found to help snap out of relationship depression is to expound on the notion that there's no such thing as a perfect person, and no such thing as a one true love. There's just too many people with too many personalities for that to be true.

"Basically, he told her that the thought of her not being with him seems to be making him very upset, eventually leading to him saying that he was planning on self harming because of her, now that's a nasty thing for him to put on her conscience, but I really want to help him get over it, because he's normally such a nice guy and he's never voiced any of this to me."

What a load of bullshit. That is what you call manipulative.

Your friend has emotional problems that are beyond your ability to help with. the best thing you can do is to consult a professional. if there is a counselor at your school i urge you to speak with them. also look at online resources. good luck

Just jack his jaw once and he'll leave her alone

didn't I say something very meaningful here before? well, bye!

How did your girlfriend find out about his plans to self-harm? By which I mean, did he mention it in passing, thinking nothing of it, or did he just outright say "if you're not going to be with me, I'm gonna cut myself"? If it was the former, he might not have realized how that would make her feel (it seems like that it's obvious how it would make her feel, but keep in mind that depression makes people act a little crazy, so it's not out of the realm of possibility for him not to realize that, in my opinion). If it was the latter, then he is just being manipulative.
As for your question IIN, some people feel the need to put on a 'happy face' in front of others, even their friends, to avoid being outcast socially by acting depressed all the time. It sounds to me like that is what he is doing here. I mean, it sucks bad enough to suffer from depression, and to feel at the same time that nobody wants to be around you just makes it worse.

well, if they cannot get it in any of these advertised ways.. you know, people can't always get what makes them happy on their own. Soooo, yeah, you kind of have to go get it for them. Make it happen for them. And possibly make it look like you did not do anything. Because knowing you did makes them feel even less self sufficient, less capable of pursuing happiness by themselves and therefore, sad and self loathing.
Does any of this ring a bell?

It sounds to me like he's just trying to make her feel bad, in the hopes that she'll leave you for him. This happened to a patient of mine, and it turned out he was just trying to guilt trip her into going to him instead. He could of course be genuinely depressed, but you need to find out first before you decide on appropriate action. If he is really depressed then you can offer him support, but he must speak to a professional - you can't do all he needs.

Good luck.

EB x

you can only inspire change, not require. he isn't your responsibility.

buy him a life.
Seriously.
Or buy him a ton of antidepressants.