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I like him A LOT, but he has a girlfriend, he's actually my friend, and we spend a good time together. What should I do to not to fall in love with him?
| Cut all contact with him | 7 | |
| Don't think about him | 8 | |
| You can't decide to fall in love with someone | 19 | |
| Fall in love with him | 4 |
It is not as though you can CHOOSE who you fall in love with. That is not how love works at all. It just kind of happens.
Ummmmm, being or not being in love is not something you can decide, but also I think that even if your falling in love with someone your life doesn't need to turn around that same person. I mean that guy is not available if you keep focusing on him and your love for him you're in for some trouble, the best cure in those situation is meeting new people , expanding your horizon, when you do that well they'll be lots more of nice and flirty guy and your friend might not seem that special anymore. Well that's the best case scenario , if that don't seem to happen and this just drag out to much ( you staying in love for more then a year and always focusing on that same guy) try confessing to him, he might say yes ,he might say no but this might give you some closure if he says no (like killing any prospect of a relationship thus killing your love at the same time, ya its like hitting a wall but it'll help ya turn the page but before confessing tell a gilfriend of yours that your planning to do so atleast you'll have a shoulder to cry on) , and if he says yes great for ya , as long as he properly break up!
You ar right but, If I meet someone then it's fine, I'm not going to give him the 100% of my time, if I meet someone who is avaliable, which I wish, it will be perfect, but for now I just like him, so much... I didn't tell him directly but he knows it, and he hasn't said anything... I trid to tll a friend but he just changed the topic so... I don't know if he's going to break up, I really don't think so...
Thank you so much!
Do you have lots of opportunities to meet new people? If you don't you have to create them ! If you're still an university student go join a club or something, if you work go to work events, you can also go to clubs with friends and meet their friends. If a guy other then the guy you like flirts with you flirt with him also.
Yes, I will try that. I don't meet people frequently, and since I almost always go out with my roomate, which is a guy, well people (guys) may think I'm alrady taken, it's frustrating, I would like to have more girl friends.... I will try to look... Thank you for the advice:)
I plan to do that, but it is a little difficult. My roomate is a guy so I don't think I can go out to those places and seem avaliable. I will try to meet more girl friends. I work now. Thank you so much.
I'm in the same boat as you...having good days and bad days with it...though I read somewhere every second you waste thinking about them is a second wasted on your on happiness. Every time I find myself fantasizing about him I just stop and "wake up" and look at my surroundings to distract myself and focus on my life without him. (It hurts when you see someone you love with someone else, but I'd rather have him as a friend then nothing at all)
I know, but I don't think it's wrong to think about him as long as you don't have expectations that you know you can't have, but,, thinking about it or being nice to him I don't htink it's wrong.
Na that's not wrong to think about him :) but like you said it's just trying to control those thoughts really...I became so wrapped up in thinking about him that I forgot he was with someone...then I saw a Christmas card with his and her name on it, it broke my heart again...I'd been living in my head too much so trying some distraction techniques now :)
aww I know, I also saw a picture of them on Christmas celebrating and I felt so bad. If you found something to distract you pls tell me, I dn't want to be suffering for something not worth it.
At the moment I've been looking at boys trying to make eye contact with a good looking guy (hopefully single). Sort of worked yesterday and I got a smile back, but my mum was with me so quickly looked away HA! Still wanna be with him...but figured if I could at least find someone who I could be with in the flesh and get a nice smile off of it would help steer me in the right direction
Yes, that's a nice start. Usually when a guy smiles I'm very shy and sometimes I even try not to SEE that person again, that's rude, but it¿s because I don't know how to 'flirt', really, I don't. I will take that for me too and I will start doing that kind of things. Best wishes.
If this guy has a girlfriend and he hasn't shown any interest in you other than as a friend, you're asking for trouble. If at some time in the future, he and the girlfriend break up, then resume your relationship with him.
When I wanted to change my feelings for someone it was painful to care about, I picked one element I didn't like about them and magnified it until I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with them. Wasn't easy, though.
Yes, i've trie to do that but it doesn't work, he's too nice, I'm still trying
You know, I think I gave you bad advice. I said one thing that worked for me one time. I forgot there were plenty of other times where it was very difficult and painful to manage my feelings for someone. I'm not sure there's anything I can say which will make it easier for you. :/