How can i get rid of my jealousy issues?

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3 Comments

Im a quiet person, I keep to myself and I usually dont care for anyone elses business.

Usually, I get plenty of attention, especially at work. People tell me how adorable I am and that im so quiet. Or they tease me about my shyness or something.

But now, my boss brings her cousin to work for the summer. And shes really quiet too. We're almost the same. But shes 3 years younger than me (shes 17). And now, the attention is directed at her. Everyone likes her now.

Im assuming this is all in my head though, that everyone is going to prefer her over me and that I will become oblivious.

It feels like shes better than me and will no longer be liked.

I know it sounds childish but this really does bother me and I know its wrong. Its ridiculous. But being the smallest sibling, I guess these selfish feelings didnt go away. I was the spoiled one until I was 8, when my sister had her first child and everyone gave him the attention. I eventually got used to not being spoiled. I became calm, patient, independent, compassionate and sympathetic towards others, and carefree. I stopped caring about those childish things. i even learned how to hide my emotions. I used to cry for everything but I learned how to not let my emotions take over. I can hide them now. Im a much stronger person now.

But the one thing that still remains is my jealousy issues. I dont act on my emotions, and im still nice to everyone, even the girl, but I cant help but feel sad for being replaced. How can I get rid of this issue? Is it normal to feel this way?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 15 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    It sounds like your jealousy is rooted in insecurity and also that you're building your self-image on what other people think of you (not what you think of you).

    To an extent you have to do this (and consider people's impressions of you) but there has to be a balance. I think you need to rely less on external opinions and develop a stronger sense of your own worth.

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    • foxyk
      11 years ago

      Yeah you are right. Insecurity is one of the common problems that causes jealousy

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  • Dad
    11 years ago

    Also, jealousy is a 'curse'. Simply meaning if you are a jealous type then you will always be.

    I don't actually feel you need to cover up your other emotional (possibly unstable) feelings. But as for jealousy, yes you do.*

    I'm sorry that there is no easy answer or alternative.
    Your best option is to remember that others are not being jealous or trying to hurt you, You are being jealous, and you need to stop yourself acting out on it.

    *Its ok to inform others by the way. Just don't act on this behaviour externally to anyone ever.

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