How can i forget someone i love

My story is a bit strange.
I am married. In a way i love my husband. But last year I felt for someone else. We started to see each other.It was like a dream. But I constantly were scared and confused. I broke up with him several times and got back with my husband.
Finally, he made me a proposal. He even moved from another country to me *we are from different countries. We started to live together but I broke up with him and got back to my husband.I just got scared, i dint want to heart my husband, I was not sure in him, I was so depressed with him.
Now he is really angry at me. and I understand it. But I still love him. I was trying at least be friends.not working with him. He dont want to know me.
But I still love him so much. it sounds stupid but it is truth. Me and my husband are like a dad and a kid. He take care of me and so on. I feel secured. I thought this is what we all need.
But now after I haven't hear from him a word i understood that this is what I need. To know how he feel what he does to see him, to look at him, to talk with him, to hold his hand, to be with him. I know that our relationship were not ideal, like mine with husband but I want them more that anything else in life. I dont care about other thing anymore. These stupid thoughts are over flooding me. they are everywhere. i cannot do anything. He is in my head, in the street, at my work, at home everywhere.
I want to stop it. I want to forget him. Now it is too late to change anything. Moreover, i done terrible thing that i am not so proud about. i decided to feel in love in someone else. Stupid ha.. for a married girl. But I was trying to get over it as i could. I made someone else to felt for me and it worked well. But I dont need it, I need him. I am so confused with all I have done now. I know I cannot get him back, he moved on, he is enjoying his life. i dont want to disturb his happiness. He probably think that all what we had was just suffering. How can I forget him. I dont want to have him in my head.