How can i explain falling for a girl if i've alway liked guys?

I'm an eighteen year old girl in high school. My town is in the middle of nowhere. Everyone here is either very religious, very biased, or very judgmental. I grew up here.

My religious. I don't really believe that someone can be attracted to someone of the same sex. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. Really, all my thought has ever been on the subject is that people can love who they want to love, and while I don't believe in being gay, I don't have a problem with someone who is.

To each their own, you know?

My dad is very religious, and my mom's racist without meaning to be, so they always have something to say on the subject. They're more outspoken about it than I am. They really have a problem with people who are gay, anyone who is gay. You can see it in their face especially if you haven't heard it from their words of voice. So I kind of grew up around that mentality. You know, "People who are gay are bad people, they are sinners, they're going to go to hell..." That kinda thing.

I didn't really believe in the things my parents said to that degree, but that's how they think. I think that it doesn't really matter who you are, if you're gay it doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It's just your life choice, your preference. Sure, maybe it's a sin, but who am I to judge? That's God's job. To me, a person who is gay is just a person. That's it.

Now, I've always been attracted to guys. Like really, and I'm a girl so it's always worked out for me. I can't help staring when guys take off their shirts (I really like to look at their shoulders and chests- so I'm not a butt person). I don't get all touchy feely with them. In fact, I really have a problem with touching people (that's for another time), and I have no idea how to flirt with them. I really get extremely shy around any guy my own age. It's always been males that I've been attracted to and have gotten crushes on. The problem with that, if there is one, is that I have what I call "five minute crushes". Meaning that my crushes are never really long term and I get over it with minutes if not days. It's usually 'cause I can never really talk to them, and they don't know that I even exist.

So it's strange to me. I woke up one day feeling kinda weird, I went to school, and in advisement as I was working on a blog post this freshman girl came up behind me and gave me a hug. Like, she wrapped her arms around me and leaned against my back as I was just sitting there. Rather than reacting like I normally do when people touch me (which is freak out) I actually leaned into it. I really liked it when this girl hugged me. And then I came to a sudden revelation that I liked this girl. Like I liked liked this girl. Since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her- her red hair, her smell, that fact that she's so open about everything, so cute and funny with a great personality, and when she moves it's like she's dancing. She's so small, like seriously short, in a way that's just utterly adorable, but then she's just adorable in general. And I really want her to hold me like that again, lean against me like that again, for no reason- and I really kinda want her to kiss me- but I'm pretty sure she's straight and I know that I am.

At least, I think I am.

And right now I'm so confused, because I've always liked guys, but now I can't get her out of my head, and I've got the smell of her in my nose, and my dad is so religious and against the possibility of anything and everything gay that I'm not sure I even want to consider the fact that I may be partially into girls. I really like her though. I really like her, and I'm sort of worried that this may not be a five minute crush. 'Cause if it's not a five minute crush, then what is it? What if I actually like this girl? What do I do then? I've never really like anyone for long periods of time. And she's straight. But... I'm not? Am I? I'm straight too-

Gosh, I'm just so confused. I need help. What do I do?

I mean, but what if this is a five minute crush? What if I wake up tomorrow and all of these feelings are gone? I don't really think that's possible, with the way she seems to get to me, but I don't know that I really want this to be a five minute crush. I mean that in the way that I... kind of... want this to be more than that? I want this to be more than just liking her for now, and less than liking her for a long period of time? I'm so confused...

If I like guys, then why do I like this one girl, and why do I really, really want to kiss her?

Is this just a fantasy or something?

Does this make me gay? Or bi or something? I'm straight, I think, but this is making me seriously doubt myself.

I can't seriously be into this girl, 'cause what would my parents think? God, what would my parents think? And would that, in their eyes or God's, make me a sinner too? Would I go to hell for it?

But I can't stop thinking about her, seeing her face in my mind, and I want to kiss her.

Is this just a phase? Or... What is this?

If I just ignore it, like I usually do with the boys that I like, will it go away?

Please, I seriously need some help, and I don't have anyone to go to about this who'll actually give me advice. I don't have anyone else to ask for help then a bunch of strangers online... :P Sigh...