How am i supposed to deal with a workaholic bf?

My boyfriend is your average man who isn't confident with himself until he is financially stable and living a good life. So thats what hes pursuing right now which I love and find attractive. Of course I rather have someone who is determined and doing something about it as opposed to a guy who just focuses on his relaitionship. However, having a bf who focuses a lot on his job can get lonely sometimes. I feel like left behind, neglected, alone, etc. I just tell myself its just a stage or for the moment cause its not like he ALWAYS does this but he does most of the time. We are long-distance so that doesn't help. Hes alone to do his thing at work without me being near. So yeah most of the time hes working and finding new projects to do to achieve his financial goal. His future goals and values are compatible with mine. Im not afraid when I have kids with him hes gonna leave us alone. Hes a family guy and which is why hes working hard right now to have a stable living for the future with family. But like I said, for the moment, I feel alone like I dont even have a bf. I want to tell him if he can put more effort into comforting me but idk how without sounding insecure or demanding. It makes me sad to think its cause he doesn't care because we have come a long way and he has improved here and there. But Im also afraid that hes just gonna find new experiences in his projects and finally feel like he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I wish he can focus on his work but love me enough to make me feel safe and secure, not like whatever happens happens.

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56% Normal
Based on 16 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • rimjob

    It almost sounds like you would "nag" him if you had the chance and Men don't like a nagging woman. However, long distance relationship in conjunction with... yup. I think your about ready to "cheat" on him perhaps that's if you haven't already. Maybe all you need is someone to talk to ...

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    • I don't care anymore about "men don't like nagging woman." Just one word from her mouth when shes trying to confront something, shes considered "naggy." So women can't stand up for themselves? They can't speak up? So men like doormats who keep shut about the problems and are afraid and not confident enough to express themselves? If thats the case, then yeah I deserve a real man who lets me speak up for myself not just lay around. Plus I'm his girlfriend, I'm allowed to let him know when I am unhappy with the way things are going.

      And no I haven't cheated on him and I'm not ready to cheat on him, whatever that means. Thats why Im on here trying to find a solution because I want to make my relationship work. Sorry I'm old school and i just don't run off and cheat or end the relationship.

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  • Arm0se

    Wait... So you like him to work, but your mad it him for working...???

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    • I'm mad at him for not putting enough effort to make me feel happy and secure while hes working. Like check up on me, see if Im doing good or not, but no all he talks about is work work work money money money projects jobs etc. Once hes done working, Im like sooo are you gonna ask how Im doing? or tell me everything is okay? No his mind is seriously selfish and focused on work

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  • Caps90

    Be open and honest with him in a mature way. Don't nag, don't go on raw emotions, and don't bombard him with it and he most likely will be receptive to what you have to say. Let him know you don't need the whole world because he is that....

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    mebbe yalld be happier in a magical fantasy land with ponies and tiaras and yalld always be the prettiest princess

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  • rimjob

    Old School... As it was 10,000 years ago and suddenly for some reason recently the woman has been given suffrage, the right to vote.

    There hasn't been a sufficient amount of transition for the Woman to adapt to the freedoms she's been given....

    The Man takes care of business. The Woman pushes out babies. The Man loves woman.

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    • toofgod

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zqLk5ez4Mr4

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  • (s)aint

    I think you need to understand that whilst you know why he is so focused at work you have your needs as well, you don´t sound as awful as I am and demand a lot of attention either.

    It´s good that he is focused at his work, BUT it should also be in his interest to make YOU feel loved and appreciated otherwise he should be single if he can not pay attention to you.

    How often is he in touch? And what would you want from him that he is not giving you at the moment?

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    • Exactly I feel like he doesn't know what he wants. He wants me but he knows he doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship because he can't afford to be a full-time bf. Its not fair. In the beginning, when we weren't official, we stopped talking cause we figured it wasnt gonna work out then hes the one to chase me and treat me like a gf like oh okay maybe this time hell come around. I can't believe that after all this time that we have improved, he still has these bad habits like forgetting all about me and just work work work. If he wants me, he needs to learn that he just can't have me, he needs to work for it and thats by telling me in words that everything is okay or check up on me, ask genuinely how Im doing, also show me you care by doing nice gestures. When we hang out which is like every two weeks, we just hang out and its beginning to urk me because its time for him to really show me how much I mean to him so he should plan something like "lets go do_____ in September" but no. I usually like just hanging out with him like movies and eat out but now that this is starting to concern me, I figure he needs to make it up to me. SHOW me I put in value to your life. Or when he is about to go do something fun like with family, invite me, don't just leave me behind. I think it is time to let me hang out with his family. I don't see a reason why not. Its not too soon and I havent done anything wrong to him so freaken include me in your life.

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      • (s)aint

        I think there seem to be a lot of red flags here :/

        He wont let you meet his family.

        He forgets about you, I mean who does that? :/

        He seems yo have stopped trying now that he feels like he have you.

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