How acceptable is it to marry your cousin?

22 Comments

Alright, I know there is a lot on this site about cousin love and attraction, and so on. But this is a serious question. My cousin and I have been in love for two years. We live in the U.S. where it is illegal to marry your cousin in many states, and we have been very embarrassed about revealing our love to others. However, we are now so deeply in love that we have pretty much decided to go ahead and get married this summer. We plan to go to a state where this is legal, to get the marriage license and then return.
About kids, let me assure you, that there will be no 3 eyed, webbed toed monsters being conceived. My fiancé and I look about as different as two people can, considering that I am mixed race, and he is all white. Therefore, we have concluded that we are as genetically different as most other couples.
I still worry though, so I must ask all of you: "How would you view a couple such as us?" Would you despise us? Ridicule us? Are we making the right decision? (Please be kind.)

Not at all! It's plain weird!	31
It's acceptable but frowned upon.	15
It is always acceptable to marry for true love.	18
I feel sorry for you, because people will never understand.	22
Go for it!!!!!!!!!!	26

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Comments ( 22 )

Glass

12 years ago

I really don't care if people marry their cousins or whatever, and really, the governmennt shouldn't even be controling who you can and can't marry in the first place.

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Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs

12 years ago

Fuck what the haters think is acceptable.

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Khalid

12 years ago

Its ok to marry your cousins in most cultures in the world. If he isnt your brother, then why not :)

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kit-kat-bar

12 years ago

Wouldn't you be jealous of all your other hot cousins at the family reunion?? There are billions of people on earth and you chose your cousin???

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- Sonyunii
  
  11 years ago
  
  Maybe because she wants too ????
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  The great thing is, I do not really have any girl cousins, except my fiancé's sisters...and I promise, he is not the type that would be into his sisters. We don't love each other because we are cousins, and maybe out of the billions of people in this world, he is my one soul mate. Ever think about that?
  
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NeuroNeptunian

12 years ago

I would not take looks as your sole method of deciding whether or not the two of you are genetically diverse enough to have a shot at succesful reproduction. I would suggest genetic testing in an actual laboratory done by a professional to help gauge your chances to decide whether or not you are willing to take the risk.

But remember, life isn't all about shooting kids out yer vag. Can't spell Adoption without "option".

How do I see your relationship?
I had feelings for a cousin once too, then I reminded myself that the reason that we related so well was probably BECAUSE we were related. I feel the same may be true of many relatives. I find it a bit strange but otherwise I really don't care.

I don't think consenting adults should NEED my approval (or anyone's for that matter) to be in a relationship. You're big kids. I don't think you need me to make your decisions for you, or tell you what's right, wrong and completely retarded.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thanks for the long, thoughtful reply, and for being considerate and polite. I agree that looks aren't the only thing, but I was just trying to say that we are two very different people. He has a very big build (6'4, 230 lbs) and I am small (5'5 110 lbs) His eyes are blue, mine are black. His skin is very pale, mine is tan. His hair is blond, mine is dark brown. He is loud and out going, I am quiet and shy. He is a perfectionistic overachiever, and I am just here for the fun.
  Anyway, I don't need to bore you further, but I think that a lot of these differences site genetic differences, but still, I do plan to include genetic counseling in our routine.
  I agree we don't need anyone's approval, but I crave it just the same. I really feel that cousin marriage is not incest. (Anything closer repulses me) And I think that it should be legal everywhere as long as the couple agrees to have genetic testing first.
  Have a great day!
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    12 years ago
    
    Yeah, well, a lot of people are not going to approve.
    
    Remember, you're in a country in which a celebrity going commando and slipping her vag by mistake can have people talking shit about her for MONTHS... Hell, years, I just mentioned Britney Spears.
    
    So you're probably going to get some dirty looks and nasty comments, I won't lie. People are probably going to talk trash to you too. Hopefully you don't live in a small town ^^;
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Thanks for being honest and straight forward. I will comfort myself by the fact that aside from family, nobody will every have to know we are related. (We have different last names.) And we live in different towns, but no, neither is terribly small.
      
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Legion

12 years ago

It's true you're kids wont be deformed monsters, but are you aware of any genetic disorders in your family, whether they have it, or carry it? There is a slightly higher chance of one of your kids having the disorder if you marry your first cousin, but the risk is somewhat low.

Have a nice Wedding!

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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

12 years ago

"We live in the U.S. where it is LEGAL to marry your cousin in many states,"

Fixed it for you.

Have a nice wedding. =)

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- Legion
  
  12 years ago
  
  if only it were that easy.
  
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  - Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    
    12 years ago
    
    only to those who call it incest.
    
    since it's not then there's no issue
    
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forthelulz

12 years ago

It's your life, you're living in it once, make the best of it, and be happy.

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Rebar

12 years ago

very normal

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The_foz

12 years ago

Be careful if you choose to have kids...Even though you may seem genetically different you're not, looks are only one part of your genes. I happen to know a few couples who are cousins, their kids turned out fine but their grand kids not so. They're seems to be mental and physical handicaps to some extent in all the grand kids.
Honestly you love who you love but just be careful when it goes beyond there.
Might want to consider adoption if you want children.

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motheroutlucker

12 years ago

Well i think it's really gross. But love is love! go for it!! If it was meant to be you'll know it :)

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Lynxikat

12 years ago

How close in blood are you? Are you first cousins, second cousins, etc?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Ist cousins. However, as I stated, we are very dissimilar in looks, and nobody would ever believe that we are even related.
  
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  - Ono
    
    12 years ago
    
    Just because you think you don't look similar you still have the same % of shared DNA as first cousins who you think look similar. You're only fooling yourselves.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Well, even so, studies have proven that 1st cousins only have a one percent higher chance of conceiving defective children than anyone else. I don't think it's worth getting worked up about.
      
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Are You Normal?

How acceptable is it to marry your cousin?