Hocd is making me actually believe i am a lesbian

9 Comments

In short, I diagnosed myself with hocd (homosexual ocd) and rocd (relationship ocd) these are bothering themes of ocd and are very real and have very specific symptoms(I have most of them). A few months ago I had a really hard time with these. My rocd convinced me I didn't live my boyfriend and the hocd convinced me that I didn't love him because I was actually lesbian. I've always known I'm straight and I've always only wanted to be with boys. The hocd and rocd have come back and are now totally convincing me I don't love my boyfriend, I'm not attracted to him, and that I need to break up with him. The hocd is telling me that this is because I'm secretly into girls and that I should experiment and I need to come out to people. I don't think I'm lesbian and I know I love my boyfriend but these thoughts are so convincing and so real I can't tell who I am anymore. I need help!! I keep internet searching quizzes and checking to see if I'm attracted to girls (and I do find girls to be pretty and have nice body's but I don't want to do anything sexual with them or be in a relationship with them and maybe they do turn me on a little but I honestly don't know). I just want to go back to when I wasn't constantly thinking about these things and worrying about who I am. Please help!

Also on a side note, I find myself looking at girls and "checking them out" a lot. (Looking at clothes, hair, face, butt, boobs, everything to see if they are attractive or not) I also find that I look at girls way more than I look at guys(which I've read is very normal) but this scares me because maybe I just like women more than men and that's why I do this

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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    LGBT is trash. Stop wondering whether you belong to it and it will most likely be fine. It's mostly the fear rather than the genuine attraction.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    Maybe you need to be with a lesbian to experiment. That will surely tell if you are bi with a lean to guys or women or.....a lesbian.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    If you are wondering, you are probably bisexual. You should experiment and see how you feel.
    Nothing wrong with being into boys and girls.

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    • problematic
      5 years ago

      I really dont think think I am. I think it is just the ocd but I don't want to be in denial either. But all my life I've only been into boys and that is my religious beliefs as well

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Have you been to therapy? Talking to a professional might help.
        If you don't want to be with girls because you're religious, you should think about what your priorities are.

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        • problematic
          5 years ago

          I don't want to be with girls because I don't want to be. The hocd thought make me think I do though

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          • [Old Memory]
            5 years ago

            So don't, be strong.

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            • nikkiclaire
              5 years ago

              Good advice

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      • EnglishLad
        5 years ago

        Religion limits the mind. Be an agnostic/atheist/spiritualist/humanist etc etc and just make yourself happy.

        Also, forget about the word "sin". It's just a word religious nutcases use to control how you think.

        Sleep with women, enjoy yourself, and find out who you are.

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