His love scared the %#&* out of me: too much too fast

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10 Comments

OK so we were best friends for over a year. Then he professed his love for me. This scared the %$*& out of me. I felt it wasn't fair to lead him on, so I backed way off for the entire summer. We hardley ever talked.

I left for college, came back at Thanksgiving and again he told me he wanted to be with me. Again I backed way off, and didn't talk to him.

I came back home for the summer, and still felt he liked me- just the way he talked and looked at me. So again I backed off and didn't see him all summer.

Now he has a girlfriend and they are madly in love. Is it normal that I miss him as a friend. I know I will never be able to hang with him now. And we will never have a chance to be together in the future.

I think I rejected him because I was afraid of being in a relationship. I was afraid he would not like me after we were together in love. Is this normal? Advice please!

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 60 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Well you probably didnt have the same feelings in terms of romance that he did, and over time he realized that. He would never have been able to remain as your "friend" though, it would be far too difficult for him. Its why as the older you get the more you realize straight male and females cant really be friends, you can all hang out as couples, but just being "friends" never works out, one or both almost always develops feelings.

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    • Mmmpfh
      11 years ago

      I do believe men and women can be friends but nuuuurgh your words still strike me as true.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        It can happen, but its VERY rare.

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        • shade_ilmaendu
          11 years ago

          See, I hear this argument so much. But I have almost exclusively male friends and this almost never happens, and never to the point where the friendship was ruined. I don't know what I'm apparently doing differently than anyone else O.o

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            But I dont understand how it cant happen, if you are both straight and you get along so well the only other thing that brings it together is physical appearance, I imagine both you and your male friends are pleasing in appearance, (lets face it, it's hard to be around overly ugly people, friends or otherwise) so how come nothing would develop?

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            • shade_ilmaendu
              11 years ago

              I don't know o.o I have plenty of decent looking friends... Maybe I'm not that attractive x3

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            • plum6
              11 years ago

              I guess probably there was some sexual attraction betweeen the two at first, but after several months this simply faded at least for the poster.

              The real disturbing thing is that the poster actually seems to think that she IS interested in a relationship with her ex-friend while to me, this simply sounds like a situation where she is upset by her 'friend' who she probably always saw as the stable factor in her life, or even a plan B is moving on now. She thinks that by showing romantic interest she can keep the guy to herself, which is basically just playing around with his emotions.

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          • Mmmpfh
            11 years ago

            Ya that was sort of what I meant behind my response too. I just never fall for my female friends, yet so many men do. Is the allure of boobies too much for some to handle?

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    I don't know if I can. There is a distance between us now. He has a girlfriend, and I can't just hang out with him the way I used to. But thanks for all your comments. Maybe I can talk to him sometime in the future.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    It might be awkward, but you gave him a long time for his feelings for you to die. You could still be friends. You should ask him if he thinks it's sensible to still be friends.

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