High expectations? (two parts to this)

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3 Comments

My ex boyfriend told me that my expectations were too high. I want someone who I can be creative with, who is spontaneous and wants to adventure, and enjoys a meaningful conversation. All I want is those three things. He is a good person, and I adore him...but over time we became incompatible due to huge changes in his life and in him.

However, after we broke up... I realized I miss him like crazy and told him this. I'm really confused as to whether I want to get back together or not. He was not really fulfilling these needs.
But I am starting to want to see if we can date again, and maybe it will work out.
Would this be settling?
And are my expectations too high?
Or maybe my feelings for him are enduring all the same?
Confusing situation, is this normal?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 26 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • MercedesBenz
    13 years ago

    Or we could go back to the 1950's where people were matched and wed based on very simplistic things. Ie. "Hey! Our birthday is one day apart." "You pick strawberries in this field too?" "We checked out the same library book?"

    Standards were way different. People got married with much less to go on than what people do now. Nowadays people want to know more information than what you get on a background check. Back then there was a little more element of surprise. But people always stuck it out. Thats why so many stayed married 'until death do we part.'.

    Don't overanalyze it. Just go with it. Enjoy the ride. Appreciate the element of surprise when you don't map out every last detail.

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  • jessicia16
    13 years ago

    you sound like a crazy lady... if you have a guy whos not gay , wont beat you , wont gamble and drink his life away and isnt fat... and he loves you ... then hang on to him for dear life , coz once you hit age 25 too 30 thats it ... guys who date older girls fall into one of the above catagorys, i think your being a foolish girl ... stuck in fantacy and the kinda girl that anoys guys ... your the exact reason all the best guys seem to be getting married to girls over sea.. coz they are sick of picky crazy expectations and get very little in return.

    what does this mean ? " I want someone who I can be creative with, who is spontaneous and wants to adventure, and enjoys a meaningful conversation"

    ALL people enjoy adventure and good conversation... the problem is engageing him in a great conversation ... are you fascinating ? or do you know what a good adventure is ? coz to me its getting lost in cambodia and ending up having a 3-some with beautiful stranger girls while my bf watches in awe ... maybe you simply dont inspire much from him .... but even if he's 50 years old he will have no problem finding a much better and younger girl who can... guys and girls are not the same in that .... do yourself a favor and hold on to your treasure .... dont be one of those anoying bitter ugly 35 year old women who complain their husband left them for a way better 19 year old girl from russia or some place.

    good luck

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  • kittygirl109
    13 years ago

    Thanks Benz. :)

    Jessica, I don't think you really understand the situation. xD
    I'm not going to go into detail, but tragedy kind of struck his life. I stuck around for five months to be supportive.

    But he stopped communicating and talking to me.
    We never did anything creative together.
    And we didn't adventure. I just wasn't happy, that's why I left. I know I deserve to be happy, and I did my very very best.

    His values changed... alot of him did. We were very close, and over time we couldn't really talk to each other. I really be lonely, and alone, then lonely and with someone

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