Hi i'm scared and internally unaliving

67% Normal
4 Comments

I have an online lesson starting tomorrow (it's extracurricular or extension whatever, my region is not under lockdown so I usually do school face-to-face) and I'm about to have panic attacks. I absolutely despise the concept of online meetings and I hate the camera, something about the ever so slightly distorted facial features of myself which the camera captures gets me feeling uncanny. And talking alone to a screen in the room makes me want to smash my head against a wall istg I can't describe what I'm experiencing, it's not simple anxiety or embarrassment it's a whole new level of horror.
I'll most likely get told off if I turn off or block the cam bc there are only three people involved. I just can't bear my parents crying over my social anxiety but this isn't helping. They think my brain is wired different and I do too.

Oh no now I'm weird

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Lets see if formalin can prescribe ya a pill for that

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    • [Old Memory]
      2 years ago

      Beta blocker time.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    Sorry you’re dealing with this. I know it’s not going to solve your problems but could you put a post-it over your face on your screen tomorrow so at least you can’t see yourself?

    You should talk to a professional though because this level of horror at the idea of a video lesson really isn’t normal and you shouldn’t have to live this way.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I am pretty much aware at this point that my fears are ridiculous enough that I can't even explain it. Thanks for the kind words, I'll be looking for help

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