Her husband was sexually threatened by me.

29% Normal
9 Comments

I'm very socially active in my community. During a Christmas party at my mansion this past winter, I greeted a young woman with whom I have worked with to completion on several works of art and television projects to great success. All eyes were focused on me as I made banter with good friends. This woman kept touching my arm despite her diamond ring glistening in the dark corridor. "You mustn't commit fornication in your husband's presence jean, or santa will put coal in your stocking." She then confessed to me that her husband was physicaly threatened by me.

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 24 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • VirgilManly
    7 years ago | pl

    Oh I smell bullshit to high heavens.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    7 years ago

    Don't worry about that insecure weirdo, Op.
    :)

    This post kind of reminds me of that time I was invited to someone's pool party. I went there to try to make friends, but got kicked out because apparently their husbands were checking me out and they claimed my bikini top and board shorts were slutty lol.

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    • [Old Memory]
      7 years ago

      What? Sorry, I'm finding it hard to believe they would eject you from a pool party for wearing board shorts and a bikini top. Was this a pool party run by people with wholesome Mormon values? Did the bikini top consist of 2 Cheezit™ crackers tied together with a string? How would they make a case against your clothing if you didn't stand out from the rest of the people? I feel like you've left out important details, so I'm calling you out and making a scene.

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      • Cuntsiclestick
        7 years ago

        I love Cheezits! They're such addictive salty little morsels of happiness! But nah, it was just a purple bikini top I bought from Target. I went there and was polite as possible, even going out of my way to censor my language since I curse way too much. When they quietly approached me about their issues, I took a look around and noticed I was the only one there that was thin. I'm socially inept, so I don't really pick up on some things like I should. The whole thing is kind of funny when I go back and think about it. XD

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        • VirgilManly
          7 years ago

          I don't have a pool but you're welcome to come to my house dressed that way anytime.

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          • Cuntsiclestick
            7 years ago

            Likewise, Manly of the Virgil variety. You rock!
            :)

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  • GreyHulk99
    7 years ago

    She should divorce the coward.

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  • NeilYounger
    7 years ago

    This is either a really stupid troll or a post by some rich fag who just did about five lines of high grade coke on a diamond-encrusted hand mirror. Either way it makes no sense.

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    • matthewkoehler
      7 years ago

      lol this sounds like it came straight out of a romance novel

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