Help! people think straight!!

Im gay but people always think im straight!! Im so devastated. The worst thing that could ever happen is for people to think this.
I cant understand why. I mean I dont act "normal". I purposely tick all the boxes when it comes to cliches and stereotypes. So why do they always think Im a breeder?
Im not a macho wanker, emotionally stunted or hung up in any way so it doesnt make sense.
I try my hardest to act really effeminate, I wear stilettos, spandex shorts and mesh tanks. I wax all over and pluck my brows. I try to lisp and walk with a mincing gait and a limp wrist as much as possible but it makes no difference.
Why oh why must i have to suffer these abhorrent accusations??
Ive never even once slept with a woman let alone thought about it. The whole idea of vagina, marriage , babies, white picket fences in suburbia and church on sundays sends a chill down my spine!!
Oh what is to become of me? Im so scared I will be ostracised if my friends find out!!

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For those of you who are a bit slow this post is meant to be tongue in cheek. Its just a bit of a statement about the plethora of tragic stories that straight men post about their ridiculous fears of gay people or being seen as gay.