Help me is it normal to feel like this!!!!!???!?!?!

51% Normal
3 Comments

(THIS IS SUPER LONG BTW)

Okay so basically, my family are straight Catholics. They believe in not only praying to Jesus, but praying to Mary and all the St's too. Lately, i've been experiencing stuff and it's going to sound SUPER weird.

When i was 14/15 (i'm 19 now), I used to always think about guys, i would have sex, get wasted, go to so many parties, would care only about my looks, my "street-cred" and popularity.

When i turned 17, I matured a little bit. started getting into "serious relationships" started to read and believe the Bible more. Started going church more. (even though at times i would occasionally fall into habits like having sex with my boyfriend etc. Bible doesn't believe in sex before marriage)

so anyway at the time, i had a rebellious drug dealer boyfriend lol. The first time i ever tried smoking weed was when i was with him. and from then on, we were smoking ALL THE TIME. It wasn't a joke, i'd be high everyday. People would tell me "omg why are you smoking its a gateway drug blahblahblah" and i'd just be like "shut yo' trap it's just weed bruh"

Now here is the weirdest thing that happened to me.

Because my boyfriend used to also sell crack & heroine to people (terrible i know), we were sitting in a park smoking weed, as usual. and i'm super super high. Then this guy comes over to my boyfriend and asks him if he's got any light (light means crack)
and STRAIGHTAWAY i start to get a really really REALLY weird vibe from this guy, like, I feel spikes and itches in my skin. Literally like a feeling of death just comes over me and i just started feeling really unwell.

I look up at this guy and he has a black shadow around his head going to his toes and it's just stuck to him. whenever he moves the shadow follows. anyway my boyfriend told him that he ran out of light so the guy turned around and walked away, and i literally felt at peace again like the feeling of death was gone and it was all so strange.

since then, every time i smoked weed, i would start seeing colours around people, not just black, but blues, greens, pinks, reds and so on. I also started feeling a presence around me. it wasnt an uncomfortable presence it was more like an Angel standing over me.

I also started seeing through people, like i knew their intentions or i knew the emotion they were in or the state of mind they had it was so weird. at first i was super freaked out.. i tried looking in the bible about what i was going through and it did not mention anything about colours on people.

finally, i went on google to search it up, turns out i was seeing people's Auras, and it made soooooo much sense. it sounds so so dumb but drugs are a gateway. some are a gateway to addiction. But i really do believe weed was MY gateway to a higher conciousness, a higher sense. im not saying it happens to everyone that smokes it but something just clicked for me.

anyway, a year passed, i broke up with my back then boyfriend, stopped smoking weed and started researching and researching and researchinggggg. I came across people like Lauryn Hill and Russell Brand talking about unlocking your innerself. Even though i stil believe there's a God, i Believe in Jesus, but i believe Jesus unlocked his inner self to do the things he did. he reached his higher potential.

i'm at a stage in my life where i don't believe in religion but in a relationship with YOURSELF and the EARTH.. there is something deeper out there, something meaningful but i feel lost, like it's impossible to find. I've lost so much interest in mainstream music, in designer brands, in partying, even in sex!! i'm starting to see the world as a prison, i feel trapped in advertisement and endorsement. i feel like everyone is living in a dreamworld and that there's more to life than luxuries. There's energy around you, i can see it! there's energy in what you say and do! everytime i tell someone about how i feel, they think i'm crazy but I know in my gut i'm not.

it's like my eyes have just opened about how the world is and i can't shut them.
is it normal to feel like this?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 35 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • BlackyHancock
    7 years ago

    Yeah it was long , but you you used paragraphs so it was easy to read!

    Because you're a believer in Jesus and in God, the fact you're seeing those things is what's called a gift of the spirit.

    I've experienced similar things. For example one day I saw a friend of mine at a concert (I'll call him Joe). Something about him seemed strange though. The only way I can describe it is I sensed he had a kind of heavy blackness around him, kind of like a shadow. Really weird and hard to explain but I know what I saw. The next day I found out from another close friend that, that same night Joe was going to suicide, as he just found out that his wife of more than 15 years had cheated on him and left him for a younger guy.

    Your ability is going to be useful. I hope you stay on the right path. Good luck.

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  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
    7 years ago

    Voting Yes as in normal to achieve a state of higher consciousness through spiritual awakening. Shaman's regularly used hallucinogenic substances and deprivation to achieve such states. What an amazing journey you are on! I don't think anyone who is not experiencing the level of awakening you are, would find it easy to understand. Have you started keeping a diary of your journey? If not you should. Only to best to you.

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  • Dad
    7 years ago

    Lol to bigfat guy's response.

    I'm an atheist, and atheists don't usually start by stating this, it would be similar to stating you're an A-unicornist or something. But I mention this because I have had many debates on things such as 'Aurora' and supernaturals. In ALL cases it seems to be utter BS, but, I am aware on one very popular atheist online who does take hallucinates to be 'out of it'. The principle basically goes like this:

    Drugs do not make your brain better in anyway. Although chemicals that are 'brain food' may help us see things clearer, the 3 drugs you spoke of > DON'T.

    The most common side effect to drugs are hallucinations and paranoia (which seems to take care of your 'evil' man situation, when NO one is born evil BUT people do bad or poor actions sometimes. Plus it also takes care of this fanciful aurora you think you specially have become awoken to!).

    It is MOST likely that your religious upbringing and then drugs have allowed your mind to step aside from reality with your matrix ideas and unfounded energies outside our bodies! I am a strong skeptic and very rationally minded (common characteristics for atheists), but sadly evil people don't exist, nor has this aurora viewing ever been proven in reality. The liklihood you are so special that YOU see this and you don't care what I say, is extremely unlikely, so much so I would go as far as saying your comment of "i don't believe in religion" may not be you fully over the unfounded delusional religious views just yet. You're still young and learning so that's good.

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