Helicopter mom. help! worried about my little sister.

4 Comments

First off, my mother has anxiety. She also hasn't had the easiest life in the world. So, I understand why she'd be controlling. But that's still unhealthy for her children.

My mom is a helicopter parent. "No, you can't go on sleepovers I don't trust other parents. If you don't score well you'll work in McDonalds all your life. We're removing the lock off of your door, there are no secrets in this house."

And how has that parenting worked? Well for a awhile my older sister was a star student with prospective future, she was pretty bitter but life was going well. Then she had a mental break down, switched colleges in the last year, changed addresses, and didn't tell my parents about it. I'm doing okay I guess, I have a little bit of self-loathing about giving up that job opportunity in the comic industry because she hates comics and thinks people that work in comics have something wrong with them. I mean, I really like comics and I just gave up something I loved because I thought I was pleasing her, but I'm not legally changing my name now am I. My younger sister. Well she's turning 12 this year. Me and my older sis don't live in the house anymore so it's just her and the folks.

How do I protect my little sister from this insanity? I know that it's damaging! I don't think I can reason with my mother. If you think I can reason with her, what would I say? My last confrontation with her was sloppy with tears. The teenage years were the hardest. It's the time you want to go out with friends and enjoy your youth. I had to join 4 after school clubs because she rarely let's me see my friends outside of school. I want my little sister to be a bit freer than I was and a lot healthier. I want her to have less regrets than I do. What ever she ends up being I don't want her to be harshly judged by her own mother. I don't want her to collapse like my older sister did.

Before anyone asks about my dad, he's a typical aloof Eastern European dad. Pals around doesn't make the big parenting decisions.

There's no problem here 1
Try to reason with your mother again 11
Don't do anything SHE'S the parent 0
Act like a 3rd parent for your sister 20
Other 4
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Comments ( 4 )
  • spacemonkey
    11 years ago

    that sounds so much like my mother except that my mother has delusions, and lately, i have been acting lot like a friend to my kid bro who is in the same situation as you little sister.
    it's sad to see your loving ones go through what you can't stand for an hour. if you reason with your mum, trust me, she ll go crazy, it'll hurt her pride(controlling parents-Ego). If you tell her,she is damaging the kid nicely, she'll take it sour, so it's better to take the backseat and let it be, but be there for your sister and do stuff. Take her out and if you can, make your mum understand that nothing lasts forever, so she can't hold her kids forever.
    and, of course, tell your sister that you went through the same, kids have that 'are we even' thing, and it really helps in such circumstances..

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  • UniqueOne
    11 years ago

    I agree with The one above, be there for her when she needs you and spend lots of time with her, if that doesn't work then see if she can more in with you or something...

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    I am not sure that there is a whole lot that you CAN do. I would say probably one of the best things you could do would be to just always be there for your little sister. Maybe take her out sometimes and do girl stuff, you know? Help her get away once in a while and have some fun. She'll appreciate that I'm sure.

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  • coolio75650932
    11 years ago

    why not sue? a parent cant control who friend sha has and what if shes fingering her self (sorry for saying this it makes me sound like a total pervert) and she sees her? i say take your sister away from them for basicly taking over her life i bet if she becomes a lesbian (just saying) and tells your mom she will probably beat the living hell out of her girl friend or just plain friends :( so sue them for forcing her to live a life she wont want

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