Heavily confused about my immature boyfriend

Hey, I am a 24 year old woman. I am in a relationship with a guy of same age from last two years, almost. We were really good friends before that. I liked him a lot. But now that I am in a full on boyfriend girlfriend relationship with him, I came to know a lot about his nature, which turned out to be very different from the image I had in my mind. He is very immature. He should take things lightly at this level but he proposed me for marriage. He demands me to convert into his religion. I can never do that & he knows it. He says he'll leave his family, his culture, his religious practices (FYI- all of this is his life) for he thinks that this relation can survive if we remain at 'one side' only. Of course I am against it, if I am not ready to leave my culture, how can I agree to him leaving his! But he is all melodramatic. He told me his parents will never agree to us. It was a weak moment for me & I consoled him that I'll talk to them & persuade them to agree. I know it is impossible. I know all the practicalities of this. He doesn't want to accept the practicalities. He is in his dreamy world. Says, "we can run away!" Is this a joke! It's my life, for heavens sake. Well, upon that he has a drifting mind, when we talk he drifts away all the time. Sometimes I feel does he know me at all. He says all the time happily that, "you understand me the way no-one else does". I also want the same kind of companion. We discussed this, he said he is way too emotional and sensitive. As when I put my problems in front of him or when I am upset or depressed over some issue, he gets way so much more upset. I have stopped discussing my matters with him, for, he is never there to pacify me, rather I console him to stop crying and the topic just shuts itself out. He is gem of a person actually. If above mentioned problems are solved then, I can't imagine anyone else in my life. What do I do?

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21% Normal
Based on 68 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • YouKnowWho

    He sounds pretty awesome.

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  • Mmmpfh

    I thought this was gonna be one of those "my boyfriend parties and drinks too much stories". What he's doing/saying is still pretty immature. Over the top romantic drama rolling around his head by the sounds of it.
    I think you need to send him to MAN CAMP! Were we teach men the futility of emotion and the power of beards! Hur!

    At least he sounds like he cares about you.

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    • shefali

      thanks for reply

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      • JustinBiebsFan#1

        are you on your period?

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        • shefali

          What is that supposed to me?

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          • Ryan556

            Are you On your meanstrill cycle

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  • yesnomaybeso

    I dont think what he says is normal :/ Are you sure you can't imagine yourself dating anybody else? You're still pretty young to find another guy :o

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    • shefali

      He is a good guy! Its just his immaturity.

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  • ygrowup

    This is one reason many women seek older mature men. Honestly, he may mature one day, but you seem not sure in moving on, and love can't conquer all if it is not the true without regrets type of love! Good luck with your choices

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    • shefali

      thanks!

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  • DedicatedToTheTruth

    It sounds like love.
    A lot like it.

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  • Silverloin

    That's crazy one part kinda sounds psycho but I think u should tell him heb doesint need to do that to make u happy or u should take a small break

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    • shefali

      i ll do that
      thank u

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  • spookypuke

    Wow. Wanna trade boyfriends?

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    • shefali

      No thank you

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  • laxman209

    derp

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  • Ryan556

    He said he loves you he'd give everything and it sounds like your being a stobern bitch right know he would give it all just for a chance to be with you and your just casting him aside this is how you screw things up keep with it if not I hope you liked your minute of fame

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    • shefali

      He's being childish. I know him. He is just showing that he can sacrifice to higher level. I know he won't be able to live without his family for a single day, let alone the whole life.

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      • Ryan556

        I'm doing it I like it

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        • shefali

          I am happy for you :)

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          • Ryan556

            It's easy it's called friends a gf and a job and your own house

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  • Gelmurag

    "But now that I am in a full on boyfriend girlfriend relationship with him, I came to know a lot about his nature, which turned out to be very different from the image I had in my mind." --- Yes, it happens. Sometimes the chase is worth more to people than the end game. It is why marriages go stale. So many horror stories of "You aren't the person I thought you were."

    " He demands me to convert into his religion." ---Any man demanding anything from you should give you enough reason to never speak to him again. Period. No person should ever demand anything.

    If religion is really that important to both of you, and to the involved families, it already sounds doomed. Some cultures around the world place high value on religion. I'm sorry that your culture does.

    You consoled him because his parents aren't understanding? I'm sorry, what part of the two of you being together is a parents choice anyway? Will you get beheaded if you don't follow your parent's rule? Short of death, it is your life, no theirs.

    So...you discussed with him that you want a reciprocal relationship, you want him to be someone who knows you better than you know yourself, and his response is to blow you off by saying he is to emotional and he can't? This dude sounds like a real winner... (that was sarcasm)

    You are old enough to start to be getting out of the "OMG LOOKS MATTER!!!!" stage of life, and are starting to seek deeper meaning. Most men are ~ 6 years behind a female's emotional development level. You want an equal relationship. They don't exist. However, a relationship where one person gives 100% sometimes, and another person gives 100% other times, does average out to 50/50. Unfortunately in your case it sounds like your boyfriend isn't ready for the same type of situation you are ready for, and he cannot regularly be there for your needs. Crying together is one thing, tearing up over hurt animals/people on tv is one thing, but telling him you had a bad day and him tearing up is a major problem. It honestly sounds like you are the man in the relationship. Not to mention, why is he so willing to make you give up your life, and why is he so willing to give up his own to be with you? That seems awfully clingy to me, borderline stalkerish/ other mental disorder. If things were going well when you were friends that is probably where you need this to go back to. Especially if religion is going to play a major role. The longer you keep this going on the more attached he is going to become and the more danger you both will be in. I say just tell him straight out. "Grow up, or lose me forever. Until then, we are only friends." I'm sure he'll cry a storm about it, but stand true to what you want. Besides, you deserve respect, and this guy isn't giving you any.

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    • shefali

      Thank you so much. You just poured my heart out here. will talk to him definitely soon. Thank u

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  • UhhhOK

    Yea he sounds prety immature. In all honesty im pretty sensitive too and can be very similar. I have mental health issues too tho, but the best advice I can give is to talk to him about your feelers and if he starts making it about himself tell him that and tell him your true feelings. Nothing could be better than comunication
    Sorry if my speling sucks hah

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    • shefali

      :) hey thanks. I ll talk to him.

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