He seems like a nice guy but . . .

54% Normal
10 Comments

A new guy at my job is openly gay. He is not one of those effeminine types but is kind of well known locally as a gay rights activist. He's a solid dependable coworker who pulls his own weight thus making my job all the more easier. The problem? Me. Gay guys give me the creeps.Always have. Now here's a nice guy. A great hard working coworker, and I can't get past the fact that the dude is gay. Our jobs require us to talk constantly during working hours but the conversation is limited to work related issues. Some small talk but very little. When he tries for conversation of non work issues I feel as though he is hitting on me. Then I think again and realize how insane that is. He is well aware that I'm straight. And I'm sure he senses that I'm homophobic as well. So I see that the problem here is me. Are my feelings here normal?

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 26 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    Normal if your homophobic, but homophobia isn't normal, it's a neurotic irrational fear.

    Your feelings aren't the issue anyway: if you can still treat him normally then I don't see a problem, but you're probably right that he will pick up on your homophobia and think less of you for it.

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    • CaptainTrips
      7 years ago

      I'm at work right now. Coffee break so I'll be brief. You see my feelings Are the issue here. I'm in conflict with myself: I should like this person but I don't because of his sexual preference. Or nature or whatever. And I've never had this kind of daily contact with a gay man before. And I don't feel as though I treat him normally. But you've help me with stating that homophobia isn't normal. I suppose that is the purpose of my post. To get a bit of insight into to this from another person and/or persons point of view no matter what that person's sexual preference may be. I thank you. Well, back to work I go.

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      • Ellenna
        7 years ago

        I'll bet you have had contact with gay men before and lesbians too, it's just this bloke is out so you know his sexual preference. Does it help to remind yourself that you've learned to be homophobic and can unlearn it?

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      • BlackyHancock
        7 years ago

        Maybe just try to get to know him as a person and not his sexual orientation? Why should it matter? I work with a gay guy too and had to examine my own prejudices at times.

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  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago

    If he knows you are straight, chances are he is NOT trying to hit on you. You need to get over yourself.

    I have had a plethora of gay friends over my life, and I have only ever had one who tried to "hit on me" after they knew I was straight - and he was drunk at the time. He also apologised profusely for his behaviour the next day.

    I presume you can talk to a female without wanting to fuck her? You might even have a female friend who is just a platonic friend? Why can't this guy be the same?

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  • NathanScot
    7 years ago

    You are right to think he is hitting on you because 9/10 times he probably is. We all know it, these gay twats have sick minds, he's probably been thinking of how to approach you. All gays and gay supporters should be exterminated. I hate homos and I don't give a flying fuck about being homophobic, I hope a disease kills them all.

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  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
    7 years ago

    He sounds like a nice guy. He's not hitting on you so unless you want him to, stop acting all weird around him. Thinking a gay guy is a nice guy, doesn't make you gay. If you know you are the problem, you must also know you are the solution. Stop being a homophobic scared little man and get on with your job. You have to work with the guy not share a sleeping bag!

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    • CaptainTrips
      7 years ago

      Touche. Just got some insight from Ellenna on this and now you as well. I've admitted my homophobia on this site several times. Now I'm sort of face to face with it. I work with a good coworker, not some lazy asshole. Thanks for the pull up. I needed it. Now let me get back to work before I have no job to get back to. But thank you.

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      • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
        7 years ago

        Anytime sunshine :) You know all this stuff anyway. We all need a good slap, our hair straightened and a kick in the pants to get back into it now and then. The only weakness we have in life are our fears. If we give in to them they will be our undoing. He's just your coworker. You don't have to do anything other than give him the chance to prove he's a good worker. You have a chance here to learn something new about yourself. Ie how tolerant and open minded you are. Just have fun X

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  • Dad
    7 years ago

    @NathanScot, thanks for your baiting, but I'll give those childish words a miss.

    OP, gays do NOT like EVERY single guy everywhere!
    Gays are born with their sexual preference, his gay cannot rub off on you! Unless you are a closet gay?

    I VERY much doubt this friendly co-worker is interested in you in the slightest BUT I suspect he has picked up on your quivering insecurities and he may be playing YOUR awkwardness back onto yourself.

    Girls and guys can be friends/co-workers
    So can gays and non gays. Get use to it.
    I'm not gay btw, not that there's anything wrong with that. Mind you even I had to learn to accept LGBT community many decades ago, NOW I fully agree with equality and gays anything.

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