He's the laziest gay i've ever seen.

I don't understand the relevance of him being gay

Why don't you put your foot down and tell him that he has to work or he can't live in your home anymore? Make him pay rent!

Also YOU can tell him that he is not allowed to have sex in your home or let his boyfriends spend the night. That's common respect that you have a right to as the home owner.

Try to reach an understanding with everyone and maybe you can work out something that everyone can agree on - unless of course you just want him out of the house. If that's the case just be frank and let it be known. Don't make excuses for why he shouldn't live there.

It means you don't hav problem about him being gay at your home and if he gets a job you will be happy ??

Is he on disability for depression or something?

I see only 2 solutions to your problem that will keep your wife happy.

1. Tell your wife you want to "help" him. find him a job (chances are he won't do it himself). Once he starts working and feeling more independent edge him to move out.

2. Pawn him off on someone else. A boyfriend, his mother, cousin, any other family member.

What's going to happen if you and your wife deiced to adopt? or go through in vitro fertilization?. Where is your child going to sleep?.

Pimp his ass out.

You are really in a tough spot here. Your wife has created a very unhealthy condition for your home. You might consider asking a buddy to let you stay at his place for a while. Let your wife know in no uncertain terms how you feel. She is forcing you to live a life that is against your nature. If your wife works, let her carry the financial burdon for a while. Living in New York is not cheap, let her realize his effect on your living standards. I would grab the credit cards and whatever savings you have, because, she might not love you as much as love her. You can only win if you are strong.

Homos are lazy in general and they feel entitled

I just read a novella like this, it didn't end well!

He's gay, not transgender. The him/her bit is fucking rude. You sound like a dickwad and I'm suprised your wife and her brother put up with your behaviour.

Talk, talk, talk. Talk in front of a family counselor? Telling him he HAS to get a job and maybe helping him? Also good ideas.
But, moving out, throwing out threats, pawning him off on someone else? IMO that seems like a less mature way of dealing with the situation...or at least last resorts in case either of them really can't see reason.
And even though he isn't a kid and he would surely resent you laying down the law concerning his boyfriend staying over night, he isn't paying rent and is therefor a guest (not a resident) of your home.
Maybe drawing up some sort of contract or lease is in order.

Why do you keep simultaneously referring to him with female pronouns?

Family therapy? Your wife needs to see that she's enabling him. He needs to see that he isn't doing anything to better his situation.

Try going to counselling first before anyone leaves. I don't think that at this point your wife would kick him out. You'd have to threaten to leave or leave to get the point across. If she really loves you, she'll value your concerns and won't want you to leave.

Tough spot mate. If your wife really cares and won't kick him out, not much you can do. Tell him to get a job. I hate lazy fucks that sit about all day. As for the boyfriend thing, I'd be creeped out too. That's normal.
Try reasoning with your wife, normal conversation about the guy. The two of you might be able to convince him to get a job and leave the house.

I hope when I get married, my wife doesn't have brothers and sisters! Cause this is a scenario I never would have imagined.

tell lazy f*** to get a job, aleast he'll be out of your face.And he must pay for stuff around the house,hope i helped you.i hate freeloaders too.

Kick him the fuck out and if your wife has a problem tell her to get out as well.