Having strong feelings you really shouldn't.

78% Normal
7 Comments

I'm a 17 year old gay guy, i'm not at all camp (don't act gay) i've never been in a proper relationship and most of my friends are very hetrosexual guys. They're all very comfortable with their sexuality, and surprisingly comfortable with mine too.
Some of these friends I met little over 2 years ago, and I feel really comfortable with them. They are after all my best mates. However, as i've gotten to know them, i've started to like them more and more in a way other than friendship. I know they aren't gay, and I hate myself for liking them in this way, but I can't stop myself. The more I get to know them, the more i'm starting to like the ones I didn't like before, some of them really aren't even at all good looking.
I guess I have a few questions really:
1) Is it normal to develop feelings for people you can't have?
2) Am I being in any way selfish or wrong for having these feelings?
3) Is there any way to make all this pain and confusion go away?
I don't want any self rightious anti-gay comments, but any other advise would be very very much appreciated. I'm kind of scared of myself and I really don't want to loose these people who mean so much to me just because of something as stupid as this.

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 41 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • 009
    13 years ago

    I'm the same sittuation you are. But I'm little older (19) and kind of get used to it. What you feel is perfectly normal. The bad part is that I have no idea how to solve the problem, I just got used to it, like I said, but sometimes it's a pain in the ass.
    What I have to say is that you're not wrong or anything because what you feel, specially because it's not your fault at all. You can't control what you feel, so don't feel guilty about it. The confusion part will go away soon, but the pain... well, it won't hurt that much all the time.
    And if you wanna an advise, don't tell your friends, unless you're really sure the person won't mind, but still, I think the best is you do not tell.

    And remember, it's not who you are inside, but what you do what defines you. It's kind of a filosophy I believe in.

    Wish good luck in your life. :/

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    Sooner or later a straight friend with let you do them and away you will go.

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  • Shann00
    13 years ago

    Oh hun it is, and it's not your fault for feeling what you feel. You can't help it the attractions just there. And you should in no way feel guilty about it because everyone has a crush on their close friends every now and then. You know them well and they know you, you can talk to them about anything and trust them with anything and I think that's why you like them. Because you aren't afraid to just be yourself and that is okay. If you are truley botherd by this though maybe you should just spend sometime to yourself for a while..away from all the friends and drama that's going on.. Ask yourslef if you honestly have feelings for them and if you do it's fine, if they arent gay and you don't want to ruin your friendship then don't act out on the feelings because you don't want to lose them, but if you feel comfortable to talk to them about it then just tell them how you feel, explain to them that you know they arent gay and that you would never do anything to hurt your friendship with them. Don't bring yourself down or thing you are a horrible person because of this because everyone strait or gay goes through this with a friend. I honestly hope everything turns out positive in the end, and just remember to be proud of who you are and don't let anyone make you feel bad because you're gay. The people who do are just ignorant and they don't care about anyone elses feelings. Good luck :)

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    13 years ago

    You sound like a wiener-cleaner.

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  • xxjenxx
    13 years ago

    don't worry, it's normal. i felt the same with straight girl friends. "straight girl crushes" it'S annoying but what could you do huh. me, i just tried to repress those feelings and... quite frankly it never worked! and yeah, you feel like they trust you and all and they're good friends but what could you do. after a while i started feeling like a prevert! but i knew it weren't my fault.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Normal.
    This happens all the time in heterosexual male/female combinations, so I don't think it's too far fetched to think it would happen to you too.
    Maximize your time spent with other gay men and minimize the time you spend with your hetero-guy friends that you find attractive.

    You are playing with fire, if you are hoping that your heterosexual friends will reciprocate your feelings (not saying you do; just in case you might).

    Good luck!

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  • lol_bamf
    13 years ago

    It's totally normal to feel that way. I don't know what you should do about them, however. I'm not well versed in that area of feelings.

    I personally wouldn't tell them that you like them for more than friends. Even though they're cool with it, guys can still be homophobic when directly confronted. Then it gets awkward. :/

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