Having a hard time recovering from general anestestia

I recently had two, back to back surgeries to find and remove a perianal fistula and I am struggling so hard to bounce back from the anesthesia. I cannot stay focused, I struggle with depression and I am having anxiety attacks for the first time in years. I sometimes, can't complete my sentences and sometimes, even words. I am a small business owner, local in my community and have to network, DAILY, and it's embarrassing because I can't communicate what i am trying to say, ever. It's been three weeks since the last surgery and just three weeks before that was my first, and I realize that I need to be more patient. Unfortunately, I'm not 100% convinced that the fistula is even totally removed. In which case, I will have to have another surgery. I'm turning 37 in two weeks, I have no children, but i am completely exhausted all the time and without wine or sleeping aids, if i do get sleep, i have insane dreams, like i'm rescuing a littler of baby cows, but visually, they aren't cows at all, they all are replicas of my dog. I recently went in and wiped out my companies schedule for november and December without remembering and ordered a $200 vegetable juicer with no recollection at all, not to mention, no $200 to pay for it. I feel like I am completely losing my mind and no one around me understands. I feel stupid and I feel like everyone else thinks i'm stupid or that I'm on drugs. Please, someone tell me this will end soon. I am not one to get on the internet and beg for understanding from strangers, but surely there is someone out there who understands and can tell me that I will get better. I don't want to feel like a 37 year old dementia patient; the fistula alone has been much like a cancer. I just feel like crawling up under a rock and staying there, and that is not me. I can't work, and that is DEFINITELY not me. I am just, hopeless.