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So marriages start with engagements, and engagements start with a proposal. My question is about the answer to the proposal. If the answer was Yes, but the engagement was terminated, the answer was still Yes. Pick one below.
| I have never proposed marriage nor been asked to marry. | 18 | |
| I once said No, or was once turned down. | 3 | |
| I have always said yes, or received yes for an answer. | 7 | |
| On more than one occasion I said No, or received No for an answer. | 4 |
Yes. Was asked twice and denied them on the spot. (third time I said yes and am still married 13 years later) Had other guys hint around but not outright ask.
Makes me wonder what is wrong with men that they are thinking marriage when to me it's pretty obvious it's nowhere near there, never going there. My mom also told me the story how her boyfriend proposed in the car and she said no and he threw the ring out the car window as they were driving along. Fucking idiots, I say. How can you be that oblivious? Then a lot of these same men want to bitch and moan about divorce. Well maybe if you put more time and thought into it you might have a better marriage to begin with instead of marrying for superficial reasons or hitching the first girl to stick around for longer than a few weeks??
My brother and his girlfriend were together years before they got engaged and married. I already considered her as a sister, she was part of our family for so long.
I don't understand the rush to get married with people my age. It takes years and work to really get to know a person and to know if you're really ready to settle down with one person for the rest of your life, that's a huge commitment.
If you can survive on your own without getting married, it's probably safer to not even consider it. Especially for American men.
Hello McJ. Safer indeed. But, is the risk worth the reward? Perhaps you could share your thoughts on the issue. We would like to know what you think.
Given the current culture in America it's a risky proposition for both genders. Especially so for men though. Marriage worked better for men when women weren't in the workforce. Men worked all day and came home to an actual "home". Women are now encouraged to actively take on traditional male gender roles. Another byproduct of this ridiculous women's liberation movement. Something both genders are suffering from.
Now men and women spend time together at work and no one is home making a "home". When you factor in the amount of easily accessible lawyers and the ability to get a "no fault divorce" (which a woman can easily use to gain a man's money/property) it's very risky.
The risk can be worth the reward if you choose carefully. Although in my opinion anything involving "love" has to include the absence of reason and rationality.
I have only asked one and have been married 44 years.
One girl hinted she wanted me to ask her when I was 19 but I wasn't ready yet. She was great, I was young.
I proposed twice, and both of them said 'yes'. (At different times of course). I didn't marry either of them.