Have you ever had your friendship rejected?

20 Comments

You offer up your friendship to another with everything you have about you to give: loyalty, appreciation, understanding, and love, along with a few idiosyncrasies and personal flaws.

And you are rejected, considered unworthy.

It happens all the time in romantic relationships but has it ever happened to you with a friendship?

Yeah, once. 15
Yeah, a few times. 39
It always happens to me. 12
No, not once. 21
I usually do the rejecting of others. 14
Alternate explanation - see below. 4
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Comments ( 20 )
  • anti-hero
    10 years ago | pl

    I don't ask to be friends with people, it just kind of happens.

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    • ProseAthlete
      10 years ago

      Yeah, this.

      I've never rejected a friendship, nor have I been rejected in one. They seem to evolve naturally, and when they no longer fit, they sort of dissolve naturally, too. Sometimes I'm left kind of missing someone with whom I used to be close but am now pretty distant, but I never feel I've been rejected.

      Then again, I don't consider loyalty, appreciation, understanding and love a gift; those are things that just happen naturally in a friendship, and if I don't feel they're being reciprocated, I'm the one who loses interest and stops calling. Why would I mourn the loss of a "friendship" in which the other person didn't seem to like my company very much?

      If you feel you've had to work at the friendship and drain your emotional reserves for this person, you are way better off without that friend in your life. Move on.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        There are those who are blind-sided by the ending of a friendship. There are friendships where there is no emotional draining, only the surprise at the end. It can be heart-wrenching for those people to be rejected abruptly.

        It happened to my mother after a ten year friendship with someone she considered one of her closest friends. My mother is a genuinely warm and caring woman with a decent amount of common sense, someone who didn't deserve to be disliked by anyone. She received a letter telling her she had been hated for years and the person could no longer stand faking a friendship with her.

        My mother did eventually move on after a lot of tears and months of sadness. Luckily, she had other friends to reassure her she was a worthy friend to have.

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        • ProseAthlete
          10 years ago

          I am so sorry that happened to your mom. What a cold and vicious person that false friend was. That is heart-wrenching. It's good that your mom had the support of other friends and a loving family to remind her that not everyone is a horrible, horrible excuse for a human being.

          I don't even know your mom, yet my heart hurts for her. That is just terrible. :/

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  • LostAndBroken
    10 years ago

    Yep., and it hurts.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    Daily

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    Friendship? Plenty of times, although they were usually from the people who picked on me. I believe in the whole befriending your bully sort of mindset. It's worked for me before, but not always. Although it does make the bullies go away.

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  • Silberpfeil
    9 years ago

    Yep all the time, now i just hate people and i'm very very picky with who i give my time to. Most people are just fucking worthless.

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  • miranda
    10 years ago

    Whoa... I voted that this happened a couple of times, but analyzing it... I was really unfriended once by a real good 10-year-old-friendship girl.
    Well, there are some friendships that evolve naturally and end naturally either. But this case I'm talking about was a real difficult person, that always complained about her co-workers and her boyfriend (they are together for 9 years, so go figure!) We were friends since teenagers, but I've matured differently, and she thought I said mean things when I really was just trying to help in some ocasions. She thought the friendship wasn't worth talking and solving, so for me that's fine. She was attention-seeking and kind of negative, so in the end it was the right thing for me.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    I got a "Dear John" letter from this awful, wormy, little bitch that I had written off as a friend but decided to not confront because I, like a dumb ass, didn't want to hurt her feelings. Oh well, there's a lesson learned.

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    • peterrabbyt2
      10 years ago

      Don't worry about it. You are a kind person and that is a good thing. The others will always get what they deserve in the end.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Thanks, I needed to hear that.

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  • Unlockedone
    10 years ago

    At one piont I had loads of friends and then I told 5 of them what I did in the past and it took a month before I got rejected by ALL of them and now I dont do the friend thing in real life any more

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    I don't want to say that I "reject" people, more that I kind of just try to keep a distance. Usually I do this if I feel a person will cause my life too much turmoil. Drama isn't a big deal but when there comes a point at which I'm not going to put my personal safety or my rap sheet at risk of taking any hits.

    I have been rejected for friendship plenty of times. Rejection doesn't really bother me.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    It happened to me all the time when I was in elementary school. I was one strange little kid back then.

    As an adult, I'm fairly choosy about who I let in. Nevertheless, I did have a friend cut me loose once. It was an unpleasant experience. It was a friendship I valued and when it ended, against my consent, I took it to heart and felt very devalued.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    10 years ago

    I rejected a lot of people as friends back in grade school... kids who were too friendly, kids who were too shy like me, kids who were mean, kids who were too confident and kids who were just boring to me. Finding friends for me is kind of like finding a soul mate. These days I kind of regret all of that rejection (although it was more like avoidance). I don't think my life is unfulfilled w/o them or anything. I have had great friends due to my choices. I just feel kind of bad for being so picky about people.

    Really, people have to kind of force me to be their friend using persistence. It doesn't always work, but if I like you it will. So, since I never "make the moves" I never get rejected... But I haven't really made any new friends lately either.

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  • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
    10 years ago

    I rejected a "friend" once. We used to be friends, but something happened and he leeched of of me and became extremely reliant on me i.e. clingy. I couldn't stand it, so I just told him to fuck off. Best decision I ever made. He still doesn't get the hint, though.

    Signed,
    Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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  • DandyElfman
    10 years ago

    This has happened many many times. I was just never cool enough.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago

    I don't think I've been rejected of friendship initially but I have broken friendships off before. I actually stopped talking to my best friend awhile back. shit happens. Everyone can't be friends with everyone.

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  • GuessWho
    10 years ago

    It doesn't happen to me.

    I do reject others though. There are certain crowds that I don't mix with out of principle. I will not even get involved with these people so they shouldn't even get to the point to want a friendship with me.

    Aside from that, I only accept friends that make an effort.
    If they don't make an effort for me, I won't make an effort for them.

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