Ask Your Question today
Up until I was 18 my dad would always use a stone encrusted belt on my bare butt, back, and arms as a form of punnishment. He probably would have gotten my legs too but they were always belted up as to prevent me from kicking.
By todays standards, would this be considered abuse?
I only got spanked under the age of 5. Once my mom slapped me but I deserved it. You were definitely abused, tying up your child and beating them is pretty fucked up.
It's messed you up if you really believe you deserved it: no child deserves that
It made me into a rebel and determined to not ever use physical punishment when I had a child of my own.
It also taught me that it is WRONG for any one to use physical force against someone smaller and weaker, but I do know people who learnt the opposite and became bullies, just like their abusive parents had been to them
When I was younger, I wanted to be a scientist (didn't happen >.>). Anywho, I usually mixed cleaning supplies together to make (not so) potent 'chemicals' or almost set the house on fire by burning plastic cups to see what would happen or carving wax sculptures over the toilet.
Violence only teaches more violence.
Child abuse teaches to solve your problems with violence.
It also causes psychological problems for the victims.
It takes a weak person to have to solve problems with someone smaller through violence.
Some say it teaches obedience, but I consider obedience to be a bad trait.
To obey is to give in to control.
If I ever had kids I will teach them to fight back and stand up for what they believe.
It affected me growing up. It hurt my self esteem...it created fears/anxieties. I think the last time i got hit by my father was when i was 18 or 19.
Not the best technique parents should use .
My butt feels like it's on fire when I read the comments. It makes me smile now.
I used to get spanked awesomely when I was a child.
Everything was used as a weapon. I hated the leather whips the most because it would curl around my hips and leave marks on my stomach and front parts of my legs too.
The wooden planks were hell.
The thing that hurt the most was knowing that my dad felt hurt for hurting me...and that made me eventually turn into an obediant child
I never got the belt, but sometimes I'd get paddled. I think that if spanking is considered abuse (which is seems to be and that shocks me), I don't see why getting hit with a belt wouldn't be.
I don't think spanking is abuse but hitting with objects is. I think the difference between ok and abuse is does it leave a mark?
Same here. I remember being spanked often, sometimes with a paddle. I don't think a belt is necessary. I think spanking without an object gets the message across and would suffice in most cases.
I can remember only two slaps... both that I deserved. one of which was because I was ~15 and strutted home at ~3am. The door was locked, I rang the bell, my dad opened it and WHAM. a thunderous slap to the face that probably made me see birdies. the most stunning thing about my dad was he himself was punished (sit ups, switches etc sometimes even in public) by his parents but he never passed that onto his own kids. and he would always remind us of this fact. then again given his intimidating presence he rarely needed to beat anyone because just the thought of disappointing him made all us siblings nervous.
I did however have a neighborhood friend when I was ~9 who would get beaten for no reason. I'd be at his place some afternoons playing board/video games. as soon as his mom came home from work it would be time for me to leave. because she wanted to whip him with a belt. as if to vent her frustration about god knows what. I would barely walk out the door and I would hear his screams. it was the most disturbing shit ever. I never said anything to him because of being scared myself and not to embarrass him. but now I wonder if he could've really used someone to talk to about it or something
A belt, a wooden spoon, a hair brush. All were common, and whatever else was available would do too. It was almost funny when the parent doing the "spanking" was so absorbed in the punishment that the item being used broke. Almost.
I was never physically punished by my parents. Only thing that's remotely closer to that was in the 2nd year of my primary school when the teacher slapped the palms of my hands with a wood brick of sorts because I was talking to a colleague. That's enough in my country to loose parenting rights and be indicted in court for child abuse.
And so it should be. What sort of teacher does that? I hope s/he didn't get away with it?
I didn't made a complaint, I recall mentioning it to my parents and obviously they were mildly upset about it.
"Mildly"? IF it were my kid I would've been up to that school VERY fast. In fact, I did make a complaint when my daughter at the age of 5 told me the teacher smacked another kid because he was the slowest reader in the class. The teacher denied if of course, but I always hoped she never did it again.
Yep I did. They were using the same form of discipline their parents used on them when they were little. If there was no belt around, they utilized a shoe.
I resented them for it for a long while because sometimes it was over things I did by accident and apologized for, yet they would accuse me of doing it on purpose. It was child abuse back then and it still is now, though it was pretty common in my area for a kid to get hit as a form of punishment.
I think the bible got this one right "spare the rod and spoil the child"
That's abuse.
Usually just the threat of the belt or the wooden spoon was enough of a deterrent in itself, for me and sibs. But I do remember getting it a few times, so we knew it wasn't an empty threat.
It's the cold, methodical nature of it that's the worst, I think. It's different from lashing out in anger. They have time to think about what they're doing and do it anyway. But I supppose things were different in the past and parents thought they were doing the right thing.
I got the belt up until the point where I started to enjoy it. Eventually, my parents started making me read the Bible whenever I fucked up. When I got old enough to enjoy that in ways that my parents didn't want me to, they started making me talk to their pastor instead.
Never got the belt, but I got the occasional smack when I threw temper tantrums.
I dunno man, it just seems wrong. I mean sure it's makes u more obedient but still it's pretty harsh :(
I got punished by my mother "my dad was gone most of my life" She would tell me to go get a switch. I picked a real small one. A mistake I never made again. Bigger ones sting much less and leave no welts. It was normal at that time period. I didn't know a kid in school that didn't gey spanked or a belt used on them. That was age 5 to 8. I hold no grudge for getting punished. I think kids today need it too. With the open hand on a bare butt. I think that is why butts have good padding. Feel the sting with no real harm. and a lesson learned. DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!
I was never hit with belts at home, but I was hit and slapped with hands. Sometimes I deserved it and sometimes I didn't.
The staff at high school were much worse though. They used to cane us. To add insult to injury, the headmaster that dealt out the punishment was sadistic about it.
He had a large glass cabinet with about 20 different canes ranging in size from thin to thick.
He took sadistic delight in carefully choosing the cane, weighing it in his hand and swishing it through the air to make a swooshing noise. (born in a different time and place he might have made one of Hitlers henchmen)
Then he would whip us energetically, sometimes for things we were completely innocent of.
Years later I was very pleased when I heard that that particular headmaster was dead.
I used to get whooped with a belt often. (That's what we called it). Usually over unsatisfactory graded or lying about my homework. It was always left to my stepdad who would stand me up, grab me firmly by one arm, and would whoop me with great strength until he got tired. It left welts on my lower back, butt, thighs, and arms from trying to block it.
When I got older (and a bit stronger) he resorted to holding me down, face down in their bed, and whooping me even harder. Not to mention he was a very muscular man who lifted weights on a regular basis and I was a one hundred pound stick. It left me bleeding a few times.
The last time he ever whooped me something happened during it. It was a chemical response, like a defense mechanism where I could no longer feel pain, kind of like a high. I stopped screaming and struggling and after a little while he let me go. I got up feeling fine and was about to walk away. He was like "you act like you need more". I said no but he told me to get back on the bed and continued to whoop me more. I was still numb and made no sound.
After that last time he never did it again. I think it really disturbed him.
I got spanked with objects and with hands, but that stopped as I got somewhat older. The thing that REALLY made me resent my mother is when she would strike my face. She did it hard enough to raise a welt.
Yes! Sometimes we talk about this between friends and we get a good laugh. All.of us have known the belt. Children nowadays are over protected.
I was never hit with an object other than a wooden spoon on my ass, which I deserved in hind sight. I grew up in the 90's and early 2000's and you'd be surprised how many of my friends parent's used physical punishment. I had a friend who's grand father used to make him go out in the garden and pick out a switch when he'd been bad, then he'd get whipped. When I was in high school I knew a girl who's stepfather kicked her in the face and broke her nose (but she didn't deserve it, and he was just a drunk idiot). Other kids I talked to had experiences that ranged from getting a belt across the back/ass, getting thrown against a wall, getting slapped in the face, getting an ass beating (more severe than a spanking).
Probably 50-75% of my friends were hit or spanked as kids at least a couple of times, with a hand or with an object. My mom really only had one punishment for me when I was bad and it was hot sauce or pepper on my tongue. She made the punishment fit the crime so if I was running my mouth, I got pepper or hot sauce on my tongue, but if I was being violent or hitting people I got spanked. I actually think it put things into perspective for me as a kid, but I can't speak for anyone else.
Yes, it is abuse. When I was a preschooler, my mother whipped my bare butt with a belt until I got welts. (I would scream from the pain). She was very thorough about inflicting pain and punishment.