Have you ever been through this with an ex?

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15 Comments

My ex and I were together for a year, but towards the last few months I moved out of state due to my mothers health concerns. He wanted to stay together. So we were in a long distance relationship for a while but in the end he wasn't able to stay happy & I ended it. We had our closure & didn't talk for a while. Then out of the blue he started texting me calling me a c*nt, a fat b**ch & a psycho, saying that he can't believe he ever loved me, he's happy we broke up because he can do way better & that he's glad he didn't have sex with me because I'm a fat psycho b**ch & apparently I was "controlling" him by telling him not to be friends with people who didn't treat him well & encouraging him not to drink or do drugs (which he's now back into). He said lots of other cruel things & I was just sitting here wondering what the heck I did? I thought we had a good relationship while it lasted & it was a pretty happy one. What did I do to deserve this? I've never had a man call me a c**t before so I was pretty shocked. I've had lots of people tell me that this is his form of retaliation because he's still butthurt by the fact that I broke up with him & he doesn't mean any of those things (especially since he was "in love" with me just a month prior), but is only saying them because he feels the need to "hurt me back" since he knows I'm happy & have moved on & it kills him to see me successful. I have no idea what to believe though.. Have any of you ever had something like this happen?

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 26 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • MeowTrix
    9 years ago

    There was one time I've wanted to vent at an ex like your's did to you. It was because the closure was one-sided and it wasn't until later when I saw the reality of the whole relationship. But I held it in. ):

    It's possible the closure you had was perfect for you but not for him. He was probably in a state of shock over being dumped and wasn't thinking clearly at first. Now he's had a month away from you and a chance to digest what's happened. His mind is no longer clouded with unconditional love for you and he can clearly see all of the things he felt were unfair about your relationship.

    He must have meant some of what he said, like the bit about thinking you're a bitch or that you're controlling. The other things were probably just uncontrolled rage meant to do damage. Like some people ^above have mentioned, he was very likely drunk when he said it. When people are drunk they say what's on their mind but it's always exaggerated and emotional.

    People normally feel guilty when they've hurt someone, even when it's unavoidable or unintentional. So having an ex act like they're happy and successful after they've just injured you is like rubbing salt in a freshly open wound. Lashing out is his inexcusable attempt to make you feel bad for hurting him.

    Avoid him. Let him recover his dignity. Have sensitivity for how he's feeling and your part in it.

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  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    What the heck did you do? You hit the eject button on an an aircraft that was about to go up in flames, and gently parachuted to safety. Good job, lady!

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    You know what? Don't pay any attention to this childish cretin. You are way better off without him, and you know it. Block his texts and do not take any of his calls.
    Move on and consider yourself lucky, right?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    He sounds like the typical unstable drug user with anger management problems. Just ignore him and he will hopefully fade into obscurity in your life.

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    Been there. Had an amicable break up with boyfriend of 6 months. Two weeks after the break up he started sending me psycho text messages like the ones you described. This behavior was out of nowhere. He kept it up for 5 days. I never replied to any of his texts. I bet he felt like a total loser when he never got any attention. WINNING.

    Anyway, some people are just emotionally unstable. Congrats, you dodged a bullet. WINNING.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Only Charlie Sheen is WINNING.

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  • Tarkio
    9 years ago

    You are a goddess. Remember who you are.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    Jeebus christ, you dodged a bullet.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You sure made the right choice to get away from that guy.

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  • ShallNotBeNamed
    9 years ago

    Great responses, thank you everyone. I can definitely see things more clearly now.

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  • dust
    9 years ago

    Breakups are miserable messy things.

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  • ShallNotBeNamed
    9 years ago

    I blocked his phone number. I just don't know why he would have a reason to say all these things

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      He probably said those things because he was drunk and/or high. We all know how nice and cheery most alcoholics are............Sounds like a case of drunk dialing/texting to me. He probably got drunk and his bitter feelings and memories of your relationship became amplified. In his inebriated state he said the worse things possible to make you feel as bad as he was feeling at the time. That's just my theory.

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      • mountain-man82
        9 years ago

        I definitely have to agree with this theory. Just try to brush it off and be happy with your life and happy in the knowledge that you found out what hes truly like before it came to engagement or marriage.

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  • ShallNotBeNamed
    9 years ago

    Do you think he did it because he's just butthurt and wanted revenge or do you think he really meant the things he said to me? That's what I'm the most confused about

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