Have i made the right decisions
Hi, I am a 28 year old, minority student, mother of 2 young children aged 4 and 2 1/2. I got married at 23, and had my children shortly after. I am happy that I have my 2 daughters, after having 2 miscarriages and an abortion. But times are hard, and sometimes I wish we waited on having our kids. My husband loves our children as well, but we both haven't finished college and could barely make it sometimes. I am now a student and in my 2 year in college, but I struggle with child care for my 2 kids and have questioned dropping out many times. But I figure this will be my last shot at going back to school so I am trying to make the best of it. I try to hold back the tears when I say I want the best for my children, but question whether I am making the best choice by going back to school, while my husband works and have someone else watch my children. We can't really afford proper child care, so the woman who watches them now cannot give them the best care. I wish I never had my children soo young, although it was a very rewarding experience having them. I wish I could of waited, maybe my life could've been different. Maybe my married life could've been different as well, because pretty much the whole time i've been married, I was pregnant or caring for our kids. I believe you don't just get married to have children, yet we both wanted to have a child. And sometimes just wanted to have them, and providing for them are 2 very different things. Have we made the right choice? By marrying young and having our kids. After my abortion, I feared not being able to have kids, so I was very excited to experience child bearing.....but now I want more out of life and feel as though i'm being held back. Am I wrong to feel this way?