Hate my dad?

82% Normal
12 Comments

My father has been an alcoholic for eight years, and has emotionally abused me. Recently he's gotten better, but he still drinks sometimes. He and my mom expect me to drop everything and pretend that nothing ever happened and that I'm supposed to adore him. I can't. I hate my dad, he was never there for me and he hurt me and my family for years. How can he expect me to pretend like everything is back to normal. He never apologized, and acts like if I hate him, that suddenly I'M the cruel bastard. I'm just not capable of loving the guy who didn't give a shit about me for eight years and suddenly wants to be a part of my life. Is it cruel of me to think like this? Is it wrong to hate my father? Is it normal to feel the way I do?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 51 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • 007alfred
    12 years ago

    Life is too short to hate anybody. Forgive him, YOU SHOULDN'T POISON your SONS with hate. Love your kids and your new family.

    Love who you want, don't hate anybody.

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  • killronaldreagan
    12 years ago

    Yes, it's totally normal and sometimes it's better that way. My father is a delusional megalomaniac who would tell me my mother wanted me aborted and filled my head with only lies while making himself out to be the good guy and having absolutely no idea he was doing it creating a situation where by dealing with him was impossible and to interact with him was incredibly detrimental to my well being. I would never trust him to be alone with my kids, I would never go to his funeral and my children shall not know his name, nor know the day he dies. (Mostly because the day he dies will be the biggest party in the entirety of my life and my lil' kids don't need to see daddy after 7 full kegs of Bacardi to himself.)

    In short, family is not about blood. Just as an adopted brother is still your brother, sometimes, your father is no longer your father, but a distant acquaintance from years past, from a darker time.

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  • amunet
    12 years ago

    my dad use to abuse me in many different ways physically mentally and sexually. i havent spoken to him in 12 yrs he died of cancer 6 months ago i didnt go to the funeral but my kids did i cant forgive him for what he did to me but i didnt want my children to miss out on having a grandad. fathers are a tricky thing you can hate them but there still a part of you the scares will heal in time just be patient and if 1 day you decide to forgive him then thats up to you, just bont leave it till it too late or like me you'll regret not saying goodbye.

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  • aminormal999
    12 years ago

    i hate my dad cuse he was a jerk on my
    bday

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  • godot
    13 years ago

    i can't belive i'm reading these comments. I think its your own damn decision and if you hate him, go on hating him. If one day you'll feel ready to move on and forgive him, you'll know and you'll act on these feelings. why would you want to force forgivness for somebody who, after huting you badly hasn't even apologized? i don't get you guys

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  • boitoy5
    13 years ago

    i have a 3 foot long scar across my back because of drunk daddy i forgave him you can forgive him for a little drinking

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  • pandabear1209
    13 years ago

    My mom emotionally abused me and I never forgave her, havnt talked to her in 4 years, I don't lose any sleep about it and it don't bother me.

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  • Caps90
    13 years ago

    No because in a way I feel the same way about my father. You do on the other hand need to EVENTUALY forgive him. Don't forgive him for him; forgive him for you. Forgiving him DOES NOT make what he did ok, it just helps you to let go a little bit.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Tell him that you still feel hurt.
    That you are glad he's improving.
    That it will take a while before he can gain your full trust back.

    Cut him some slack, it's the best thing you could do for yourself.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    :(

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  • TheGuruOfTheSauce
    13 years ago

    He gave you life you gotta give him credit for that

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  • justforfun412
    13 years ago

    It is a normal action to feel the way you do. You should hate his actions not him. He has an illness that he will fight the rest of his life. You have to forgive him and try to forget the past and move foward.

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