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Has a long-time, known, close-to-you narcissist ever apologized to you? What did you think of their apology? What happened after the apology (as far as real change in behavior)?
| No, never, and it's frustrating!! | 20 | |
| No, Never, and I pretty much expect it. | 26 | |
| Yes, and I think it was genuine. | 16 | |
| Yes, but I think it was solely for self-serving purposes. | 85 | |
| What?? | 19 |
Been called a narcissist on here by many, although I know for certain I'm not one.
I don't think narcissists really say sorry for the sake of saying sorry. I think narcissists say sorry only when it's in their best interest.
I also think alot of people having seen a real narcissist, I know I haven't. A lot of people confuse over confidence, arrogance, etc as narcissism.
Its very rare to believe a narcissist apology. Sometimes they say it because they know its gonna help them out in the long run but sometimes... rarely they be sincere. I've dated a few narcissist to understand they are the most self asborbed people alive. Few of them can break the habit.
Kind of have a friend that's narcissitic. She cares about others but ultimately believes that she is right about everything and everyone else is wrong and that her misery is all of everyone else's fault.
She sleeps on the couch all day and she is basically always on the living room couch and the living room is all hers and so is the kitchen and if she is on the couch, whether or not she is asleep, we must all be quiet or leave the room or she won't hear her news.
One day, I was talking to her son in the kitchen and she screamed at him for asking me questions. So I whispered the answer to his question to him and she screamed at us again for talking in the living room. She later gave me a half-hearted apology after she complained that I don't visit enough and I told her that I fucking hate visiting because she's a total bitch. I didn't stick around for her to give me the talk about how I don't understand depression and about how I am selfish for talking in the living room. I feel bad for her poor son, she treats him like an inconvenience. He's too young to move out as well, poor kid, living in the "ME ME ME MINE" house.
i don't think a true narcissist would ever feel the need to apologize since, in their opinion, they never put a foot wrong.
not exactly. i don't label people as narcissists usually.
but if you have someone you've decided is a narcissist and they apologized to you... you need to base the sincerity off how they said it and what they said. you cannot just give a blanket statement of "yes it's sincere" or "no it's fake" and have it apply to all people.
Key things to look for
- did the apology include an excuse? i.e. "i'm sorry about this BUT...."
- or did the apology express regret and did they acknowledge what they did that was wrong and how it affected others?
- did they sound sincere or did they sound less than honest?
or... what did he or she apologize to you over? And how did they apologize?
I've never had one give me a genuine apology.
I did have this one that I couldn't understand at all. This guy I worked with had called my boss to tell him I didn't do this important task he'd asked of me. To make a long story short, this guy already knew I'd done it when he called my boss. When he apologized, he said "I'm sorry I had to call your boss."
I don't think I'm a narcissist at all, but people always tell me I am. Regardless I'll try and add insight.
Whenever I apologize it's because I want to get someone off my back and prevent conflict. Usually the other parties are wrong, but I don't really want to argue.
Dude a narcissist is just insecure. Accept it. They care more about what they say, then you should, who gives a shit. Don't matter
Nice topic. I think someone likes making diagnosis here. Its really hard to identify narcissistic people for they do their best on masking themselves, but there is a possibility to spot one if based on reliable experience. Those who admit themselves as narcissists are on the process of accepting who they are or on the progress of treatment but it takes a lot of time and will-power (etc.) to recover. Regarding apology, I think that depends if the person is still in self-denial course or on the progress of accepting him/herself as NPD. Probably half sincere on the latter.
i lived for a narcissist, it was the biggest mistake of my life. He caused me so much self pity and hate. I fell into a terrible situation and he would mock me and call me a loser and stupid, even though everything ive been thorugh i cannot help. He knew of my struggles and that i had no place to lay my head, refused to buy me a hotel room during the cold winter, but took his sister and himself to hawaii... and he said he loved me. :(
Yea but by the time they do, I really dont care much about them or their apology...probably because I'm a narcissist myself
Interesting fact: I think a study proved that 9 out of 10 People have no idea what a true Narcissist is or how to spot one.
But I'm biased on this topic so I can't say readily if a true Narcissist ever apologized to me.
If I remember correctly, a true narcissit has a personality disorder. Simply put, they would never apologive because they honestly believe they are superior to all others even when it is proven countless times that they aren't.
Yeah, he stood on my foot by mistake because he wasn't looking where he was going. Checking out his reflection in a shop window. Tsk!
I dated a self-proclaimed narcissist and he treated me like fucking bollocks and I never complained. He then dumped me very bitterly for no good reason at all and he has never apologized for the lame shit he's done to me. Thankfully, no one likes him and I can't foresee any girlfriends in his future because of his shitty personality and social skills, so maybe one day he'll look back and think, "Hmm, I really did treat [me] like shit. I should go apologize, and then change my ways and move on." I hope.
If he's a self proclaimed narcissist, then he isn't really a narcissist. Admitting they are a narcissist would be admitting there is something wrong with them, which narcissists believe nothing is wrong with them and that they're perfect.
I do believe that he is a true narcissist. He's also emotionless and rude. I am not exaggerating; he truly is. He does not and never has shown any love for his family, friends (he now has no friends) or me. He explained that he went through a phase of hating himself and has then become a narcissist. He spends a lot of time trying to make himself more "perfect" and he brags a lot about his admittedly impressive penis size. He has never shown any remorse for any of his actions, from the far past to the near past. He can do something horrible and when someone confronts him he refuses to listen and will walk away from them and ignore them, unaffected. He is simply unaffected by anything.
He's a really unpleasant person and has caused me a world's worth of pain. Whenever I am forced to see him, my heart stings and I feel anger. I greatly desire an apology from him but he is a cold, unfeeling, and holy motherfucker who is too proud.
He might be, but I severely doubt it. Narcissists play for the group, they want people to like them, not hate them. So they wouldn't put themselves in such an enviroment that makes them look like a "loser" as some would put it.
Narcissists aren't emotionless, they just lack emotions for others, while are emotional about themselves.
Someone doesn't just turn in to a narcissist. If he hated himself, then that is him obviously implying that he had flaws, which led to self hate. People don't become narcissists, it progresses, it was always in the narcissist.
I don't think a narcissist would just "walk away" from confrontation, they would more so challenge the person confronting them.
Remember, narcissists want people to like them, they want people to envy and like them, not the opposite.
Take me for example; I am quite a lot of the things you listed, but by no means a narcissist.
I am "emotionless" as people say, I don't show love towards the people I know unless I want something, I spend a lot of my time trying to be perfect (It's human nature), I brag about certain things, I have engaged in quite a bit of crime that left a few victims of my crimes and don't feel remorse for them, etc.
The guy sounds like an asshole, that is obvious, but he doesn't really seem narcissistic. He doesn't fit in to what narcissists do.
Sure, he might have a large ego and is arrogant, but so are many people, that doesn't mean they're a narcissist.
Real narcissism is quite rare, but easily mistaken for someone with an ego.
Yes, and i really think it was genuine. You should never doubt people or their intentions because you never know what you'll find if you actually open your eyes and look at a person. Think about what they feel.