Hard-on on the first date

12 Comments

Imagine yourself in the following situation according to your gender (i.e. females in the role of the woman, males in the role of the man).

A man and a woman are on the first date. There hasn´t been anything sexual between them yet. During their conversation as they are sitting close to each other the woman notices that the guy has a hard-on (erection).

My question is :

For WOMEN - How would you feel in this situation?

For MEN - How do you think most women feel in this situation?

W: I´d feel disappointed that sex is the only thing on his mind 0
W: I´d feel offended 1
W: I´d feel flattered that I arouse him sexually / complimented 5
W: I´d be pleased and sexually aroused by it 3
M: they´d feel disappointed that sex is the only thing on my mind 2
M: they´d feel offended 4
M: they´d feel flattered that they arouse me sexually / complimented 2
M: They´d be pleased and sexually aroused by it 4
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    To dappled
    Sure, I can answer your questions later. Yes, there is a reason why I asked this but it is not because it has happened to me recently and now I want to know what I am "supposed" to feel to be a part of normal crowd :) It is little bit more complex. Your suspicion that there might be an interesting story behind my question is right. That experience inspired a conversation with my boyfriend - he told me something which was so unbelievable for me that I wonder about it even today...
    By the way, thank you for asking me about my own feelings in such a situation. Only then I realized that the list of voting choices was not complete...

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  • Francophile22
    11 years ago

    I just noticed (as of 9 AM GMT) that the majority of men assume women would be angered/disappointed and the majority of women would think the opposite.

    Just more proof that, men having to make the first move, tend to miss most signals and act against the real truth.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Personally, I wouldn´t draw such conclusions based on a few votes here. It´s definitely interesting to see these results but I don´t think it would be wise to assume that they reflect how men and women in general population percieve the issue and how they would feel in such a situation. The reality may or may not correspond with these results... <BR><BR>You´re right that men are still expected to make the first move and this is exactly why I wouldn´t criticise them for missing women´s signals or whatever - it´s just natural that some of them are cautious in this respect. You know, women can be cruel - no wonder that some guys want to avoid embarrassment. Besides that, there is still a lot of men who think that women get wet immediately when they look at them and who overestimate women´s sexual interest in them. Although from the evolutionary point of view it´s adaptive and thus understandable, I don´t find it very likeable to be honest.

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      • Francophile22
        11 years ago

        A lot of men think they get wet? really? We mostly think it's all hard work and just the alphas have it made, that it's mostly going to be rejection/ignoring us/playing with our emotions.

        Perhaps the number of responses was low, but the outline of the trend that men and women don't see the same way on this subject is nonetheless there.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          As I wrote in my previous comment, "women can be cruel" which means that I agree with you that they men´s situation is not easy at all when it comes to mating or approaching women. <BR>In your first comment you pointed out what you had noticed "that the majority of men assume women would be angered/disappointed and the majority of women would think the opposite" which led to your assumption that men "tend to miss most signals and act against the real truth". It really seems that you suggested that men underestimate women´s interest or possitive reaction to their sexual arousal (hard-on) as they tend to miss their signals.<BR>As I think that men´s situation is not easy (they risk embarassment, rejection, experience women´s ignorance etc. when they approach them), I suggested that it´s understandable to be cautious in such a situation (which might be accompanied by missing women´s signals). My note that "there is still a lot of men who think that women get wet immediately when they look at them and who overestimate women´s sexual interest in them" was just subsidiary and "a lot of" doesn´t equal majority. I said nothing about my opinon on what most men might think about the matter. However, I think that it´s undeniable that there are some conceited guys like that who would assume that a woman wants to have sex with them when she smiles at them. In addition, overestimation of women´s interest is supported by research on this topic. Personally, I think that it may be adaptive from the evolutionary point of view but not very likeable for me. My boyfriend has a low self-esteem and I definitely find it more attractive than high self-esteem, self-confidence and secure personality.

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  • theaverageatheist
    11 years ago

    first date? no thanks.

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  • shuggy-chan
    11 years ago

    not try, will, willing or not

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    The last W :)

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    • shuggy-chan
      11 years ago

      but what if i just stabbed you in the tummy when we hugs bye then? huh huh huh?!?!?! xD

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Are you saying you would try to rape my belly button!? O.0

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    My bf cummed his pants on our first date. I was very flattered, as we were only hugging.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I've had one on a first date but she'd never have noticed unless she had X-ray eyes that could see through tables.

    But how would I think she'd feel if she'd seen it? I'm not sure. In a normal meeting of two people, I'd assume she would take offence. But it's a date. The idea is to inspire some level of attraction. I guess if the conversation was very flirty and it was clear she was interested, then maybe she'd be flattered. Whereas if we were talking about her pets or her family, it'd be a bit odd.

    I'm guessing the OP is female and that there's a reason you asked. When this poll is all done and dusted and everyone has answered would you mind replying to me saying how you'd feel? Or how you did feel. I'm curious. Or put it in a PM. Whichever. :)

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