Hair pulling obsession

I don't eat my hair. The two main areas i pull from are my underarms and pubic area. I first started pulling on my eyebrows. Well, because i just wanted to have neatly groomed eyebrows. But then my grooming ritual quickly turned into an obsession. by 7th grade I began to pencil in my eyebrows because there were hardly any hairs left. I knew something was a bit off when I started to... personify the hairs i pulled (or rather failed to pull successfully. I would become so restless and agitated when I would spend countless hours battling with these rebellious hairs that seemed to shrink back into my skin for fear of being pulled. I would curse the hairs, and then dig into the skin... pry my pores open with a sewing needle to gain better access to these hairs to the point where i would be left with eyelids that looked like i had been attacked by a woodpecker. So my mother threatened me into supressing this vile habit of mine; but with no real success.

So i began to pull elsewhere.. My hand eye coordination skills were still pretty unpolished back then so i couldn't pull my underarm hairs just yet. My attention was quickly diverted to the thick stubbly re-growth of leg hair that had not been shaved in a week. But they could not be just any hairs, they had to have the right.. "Look" or meet certain criteria. How I distinguished a "tweezable" hair from a "non-tweezable" hair is still something I am trying to formulate how to describe. My pulling ritual starts with running my fingers along the skin of the area i would like to tweeze. I guess you could say I look for the "Scratch". The "Scratch" indicates a short, coarser hair that I just find IRRESISTABLE. The more difficult the hair is to remove, the more obsessed i become. I engage into a struggle with the hair, sometimes yanking furiously only to break the hair resulting with an ingrown. But I grew wise to this wild hair yanking and discovered that if i hold the hair taut for a while (even club hairs) it will eventually give in and allow itself to be removed. Ah, victory. When and where do I pull?
Whenever I feel a hair pulling frenzy coming on, or if I feel stressed out (I also use hair pulling as a self reward) I will retreat to my bathroom with a locked door. I pull open my blinds with glee (because natural light is best for those extra sneaky hairs) sit my ass on the toilet and pretend to be taking a 45 minute poop. Sometimes I'll be so engrossed in my "task" that I won't even realize that I've been holding my breath until I finally start to feel dizzy. When I get started it is exceptionally difficult to stop. And If I can't find the time to have a proper pulling session I will arm myself with my handy tweezers and attack my husband's thick, black, random hairs like a ninja jumping out of some dark shadowy corner. I won't even ask I just tweeze. But that only satiates part of my obsession.