Guys: do you let your girlfriend hang around with male friends?

36 Comments

For the guys who are in or have experienced long-term relationships. Are you ok with your partner hanging around with other men?
Personally, I am. I let my girlfriends hang around with all the male friends they want. It doesn't bother me. I actually think alot of women are worse because they can be so heavy with the peer pressure. Despite this freedom I was still called over-controlling once, but I guess that's why that one is an ex. It baffles me that some women will literally not be allowed male friends while in a relationship as I bet if I tried that on any of my relationships it would have been an absolute deal breaker.

My partner can hang around with whoever see wants, I trust her 30
I don't trust some of her friends but let her hang with most of them 36
I limit the number of male friends she can have 16
No male friends! It's bad for a relationship! 21
I am a woman and I want to post my opinions below! >:O 13
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Comments ( 36 )
  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a girl who I couldn't trust to have male friends. Good long-term relationships require maturity, and mature relationships require trust.

    If you're dating anyone who plans to cheat on you, that person *will* cheat on you. You can't stop them by trying to stalk them to stop them from seeing their opposite sex friends, they'll find a way. They won't be afraid of being devious and going behind your back; if they wanted to cheat on you they'd be prepared to lie to you anyway. Being controlling won't help, it'll just reduce your innocence in the ensuing break-up.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Knowing is better than trusting.

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      • dom180
        11 years ago

        I don't agree. People in general function most happily in relationships if they're given the freedom to control their own actions, and people happy with their relationships don't cheat.

        It seems to me like you want to protect your girlfriend from other men. I think that's a sign of your own insecurity which you are making her suffer from. She has a right to make her own choices free from your control, and in turn you have a right to leave her if you don't like those choices. What you don't have a right to do is forbid her from doing anything, even if you do think it's for her own good. She's a grown adult (at least, I hope) capable of making her own decisions, not a child (at least, I hope not) who's every move you have to monitor.

        If you can't bring yourself to trust someone... well, all I can say is I feel genuinely sorry for you.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          So, I should just let her hang out with dudes that act like that? Just let them act that way towards my girlfriend? I don't fucking think so, and I'm not insecure. I'm smart. Now there is no problem with crap like that. Why? Because I removed it. And I don't force her to do anything. Couldn't if I wanted to. I give her an ultimatum, if she wants to act like a whore (she doesn't) then she might has well, because she will be single. No matter what new-age relationship crap people think, there is no reason to want to hang around people like that unless you want to fuck them. There are no excuses for their actions.

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          • dom180
            11 years ago

            You don't let her hang out with *any* guys without you though. I'd understand you wanting to her to keep away from seriously creepy guys like that, but it's a big leap from there to want her not to see any men at all, even the normal ones with girlfriends of their own.

            Let her decide for herself not to hang around with guys like that. If you have to issue an ultimatum to get your way, then I'm afraid you're only treating the symptoms and not the cause. The desire for her to still hang out with guys will still be there.

            A girl hanging around with a guy = a girl wanting to have sex with that guy. Flawless logic. If you only believe that to be true of perverted guy then why do you stop her from being with every guy, even non-perverted ones?

            It seems to me like you're suspicious of every guy in the world because of the actions of just three perverts. Not allowing her to call herself your girlfriend and still hang around with guys without you solely because they might be perverts makes you sound VERY insecure and unable to trust either her or other men.

            Purely out of curiosity, how would you feel if she issued you an ultimatum never to hang around with girls out of her presence?

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              She already did. I don't hang out with females. And I'm sure all the guys who want to be friends with her(blond hair, blue eye and huge tits) are just trying to be "friendly". Yeah, my ass.

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        • DanishGirl
          11 years ago

          no I'm not a child...I'm thirty four and very capable of making my own decisions.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I would *never* tell a partner who they can and can't see. If there's little enough trust that there are thoughts of controlling them, something is wrong and the relationship either shouldn't be had or people have issues that need resolving.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      Dappled, you are pretty much great.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        Aww, why thank you, Miss Trees (which sounds like "mysteries" if you say it fast enough). Had to get that in quickly because I think time is running out on the Miss Trees status. :)

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        • VioletTrees
          11 years ago

          Wait, after the wedding, do I have to change my username to VioletCobblepot?

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        • WordWizard
          11 years ago

          Also you both match so you too would make a perfect couple. I say a wedding is in order and let free the purple doves.

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          • VioletTrees
            11 years ago

            OswaldCobblepot is gonna beat you up!

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          • dappled
            11 years ago

            Eep! I think her fiancé might have an issue with that. Plus, I'm a disaster and wouldn't wish myself on anyone. :)

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    • Corleone
      11 years ago

      True story

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  • Imsupernormal
    11 years ago

    That shit about having male friends might have been fine in high school. But in the real a girl only has male "friends" because she is cheating. Also when her and her girlfriends go out on sluts night out it's just to get drink and fuck a whole bunch of guys.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Bingo.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Not voting, but no I don't let my gf hang out with other men. Why you ask? Well let me explain. The first time I let her hang out with "an old friend of the family" who was male, I saw a message from him on her phone that said "So, will you show me your tits?" so, that was a quick end. The second time, her male friend from work was clearly trying to break us up,we all know why, I put an end to that with a colorful Facebook message. The third time her OTHER male friend from work "accidently" showed her a picture of his dick on his phone. Dudes these days don't know where to draw the fucking line.

    So no, no more males. Don't feel bad though, she does not let me talk to females either. I can hang around females and not try to fuck them or flirt, but I can't do something I expect her not to do. So that's that.

    She can hang around guys while I'm around.

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    • DanishGirl
      11 years ago

      That's funny the last chick you talked to you commented on her tits...what was it oh yeah "by the way nice tits:)" hmmmm. I'm a thirty four year old women, I'm not nineteen and I'm not naive...wish you would get that through your head. You cannot get anywhere in this life without being able to talk to people and yes some guys say inappropriate things but I'm an adult and I know how to handle myself. Furthermore I'm with you and I love you otherwise I would've stayed in GR and not moved to fucking Colorado with you and your family leaving mine behind. I think I've done and proved more than enough to you that I'm true to you and now your just being insulting. Also why the fuck do I have to tell you how I feel on here and not to your face. really this shit is getting old I think Ive been very understanding when it comes to your trust issues and I'm sick of having to not trust you. I never used to be this way. You say you act this way because I do, but that's not true because I've never been this way before. The first time you flipped out on me I thought there was something really wrong with you and it flipped me out. I don't know if you have a guilty conscience or what but I sure don't. I do hope we can come to some sort of medium because honestly this shit is driving me nuts. stop acting like you know everything there is to know about everything because you don't. relationships are about happiness and working together. There not about extreme jealously and having to walk on egg-shells around the other person. Just stop...it's getting ridiculous.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Okay first, I find it hilarious that you say "Also why the fuck do I have to tell you how I feel on here and not to your face". YOU are the one who started posting shit about here about us, even AFTER I asked you not too. So, your point on that is invalid.

        Second, I already explained why I said what I said to that chick but if you want to drag that up, why don't we talk about the little sticky note you had hidden in a METAL LOCK BOX from a guy you had admitted you had a crush on for ages. Or the diary of your other ex you kept, or the pictures of your exes, or the OTHER MANS PHONE NUMBER you had hidden on your phone under a fake name, or the fact you hid your phone acting like you lost it so I couldn't see the texts? What about that stuff?

        Again, keep talking about our business, I can drag you through the mud too. Does feel so good on the receiving end huh?

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        • DanishGirl
          11 years ago

          I like how you say things to make it look like it's not. The note in the metal box was from a co-worker who is happily married and no I have never had a crush on him... second journals and pictures of exes well the journals were forgotten about because when working full-time and raising four kids,two of which are special needs, you tend to forget you even have those. So sorry if you were sitting at my house all day with nothing to do but snoop through everything just to get pissed off about something I've had for ten years plus in a drawer. Also the pictures of exes were my children's fathers and were kept for my children. What fucking right do you have to take those away from them. I guess you cannot understand that because you haven't raised any children. The other guys phone number that was hidden was a friends that I was talking to about you...And I kept and hid it because I further needed to talk to my friend about how I picked you up at a hotel room you were at with your old crusty crazy ass ex girlfriend and the fact that same weekend you broke my drivers side window while I was passed out in the back of my van and then lied to my brothers and father about it.And I know you would drive yet another friend away with your threats of breaking there face. Please sweetie I've done nothing to be dragged through the mud. I've never cheated. I have nothing to feel guilty about. All of these issues were already discussed and you need to remember I was there I know what was said. I'm not afraid of your threats and I never will be. And making light of what you said to that chick about her tits is not okay. Obviously we both have some shit we need to think about. I'm not doing this shit anymore. If you look at this relationship it has been destructive from the start. If you don't want to do your part to turn it around I'm not even going to try anymore. The choice is yours.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Don't see why I should try either. Just go ahead and bitch some more when you read this, but I'm always the one who brings it back together. I'm done doing that if you are just going to act like this. You're a hypocritical, bitchy cunt and I can't deal with you anymore.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    I don't think this should be any kind of general moral, to let your partner hang out with the opposite gender or else you are controlling. I had some boyfriends whom i did not mind hanging out with girls, because of their personality. My current, however, i would feel very uncomfortable if he suddenly started hanging out with girls because that's not him. It really depends on the personalities of the couple and the trust they have for each other AND the trust both have for the company each of them wants to keep, male or female. There are so many facets, but i don't feel like writing an essay.

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  • OswaldCobblepot
    11 years ago

    Not if she knows what's good for her…

    Just kidding. She can do whatever the fuck she wants; she's an adult.

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    When I was younger, I used to socialize much more than now and to be honest I was horrified to see what happened to guys who used to let their girlfriends hang around with male friends. Unfortunately, most of these guys were cheated on, some of them on a regular basis. I am fully aware that my observations can´t be used as a valid argument for any generalisations but personally I prefer to have a partner who does not want to be surrounded by other men so often.

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    • PapzBSlim
      11 years ago

      Completely agreed. Most, not all females who hang with male friends cheat on their partner or end up leaving the partner for a male friend. I do not even go hang with my female friends unless the girlfriend is present. I would hope the same is done in turn for me.

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      • Ryan556
        11 years ago

        My 2 exs cheated :,(

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  • Devilsno1angel
    11 years ago

    If uu trust her its ok means tht she gets to know ure friends and know uu better when i was going out with a ex bf he hung around with my friends and i hung around with his even when we broke up we r still all close

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  • Ryan556
    11 years ago

    As long as I know we're she is I relly love her and my other 2 exs cheated :,(,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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  • WordWizard
    11 years ago

    I think most men would love this. They can show how practical, pretty, and Guy cred worthy their girlfriend is.

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