Guy friend won't stop bothering me romantically?

25 Comments

I am friends with my neighbor, an older man in his 50's. I like him, he has shown me around town, we talk about a lot of cool stuff. Friends, ya know?

The problem is that almost every time after we have been chilling for a while, he starts in with making sexual comments, saying he'd like to be with me in a relationship, going on and on about how much he "cares" for me and so forth.

I'm married for one thing. Second, I've been blunt and said nothing is going to happen between us. He still won't stop!

I'd like to remain friends but at this point I feel like I'm being abused in a way, with all the harrassment. Sometimes he even breaks down crying or goes into an angry rant after I tell him no yet again-trying to manipulate me.

Is there a way to stay friends but stop the advances for good or am I going to have to break off the friendship completely?

suggestion:	7
break off the friendship	53

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Comments ( 25 )

RoseIsabella

9 years ago | pl

What a creepy, manipulative steaming pile of shit this guy is!

Have you told your husband about this so called friend? This old bastard ain't your friend, he's disrespecting you and your husband. Don't worry about hurting his feelings. He's no good, trust me!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He knows the guy and he knows we hang out. He'd probably kill him if he knew how bad the guy has been pestering me.
  
  I don't really know why I'm struggling with this so much. I mean, I know partly because I thought we were friends but looking at it realistically I am probably being naive. I was in it for just being friends but he probably never was to begin with. Gaaah I hate this crap.
  
  I'm really bad at confrontation with men so do you have any tips for what to say when I break it off? I'd like to kind of plan it out so I don't get flustered and come across as not being serious.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    Hmm... Well, you could just casually be busy all the time. Also, you could say flat out, "I can't be friends with you anymore, because of your inappropriate behavior."
    
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Cuntsiclestick

9 years ago | pl

Ugh. A clingy person that refuses to take a hint even after you've told him you're not interested. Since he won't respect that you're married and want to only be friends, the best thing you can do is just cut him out of your life. Trying to spare this guy's feelings by remaining friends isn't worth the headache.

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- reminiscent
  
  9 years ago
  
  I agree just cut him out of your life...tell him that his behavior is Uncomfortable and you cant be friends anymore...then just stop talking to him and hanging out.
  
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- shuggy-chan
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah, i only act clingy to single cunts, right right right right? *manical gleam in my eyes*
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    9 years ago
    
    EEK!
    
    *nervously pats you on the head*
    
    Good boy, shuggy. Good boy.
    
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    - shuggy-chan
      
      9 years ago
      
      *misreads pats and stands humping it leg* Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy
      
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      - Cuntsiclestick
        
        9 years ago
        
        No! Bad shuggy!
        
        *hits you with rolled up newspaper*
        
        Now go to your kennel and think about what you've done!
        
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        shuggy-chan
        
        9 years ago
        
        *gives the most sad look ever given* but, i... <8( sorry
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Any tips on how to handle this breakup? I'm awful at stuff like this. I always feel like I have to be nice, especially with guys.
  
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  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    9 years ago
    
    RoseIsabella pretty much hit the answer right on the head on how to cut him off.
    
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

I see the problem as being more difficult because he is your neighbor and he'll be right there every damn day. However, I think you are just going to have to put your foot down and insist that he cease with the affectionate advances or you will have to ask him to keep his distance. If you already have done this (emphatically) and he has ignored you, then it is time to just not spend any more time with him. None! If he asks you over, a curt, "No thanks." should do. If he tries to start a conversation, it's, "Sorry, gotta run." Don't give him time to cry or beg.
See, this is why I've spent my life living on boats. Got a problem with a neighbor? Pick up your anchor and move; several hundred yards, several hundred miles or half way around the world and you don't have to pack one single box! Easy.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  9 years ago
  
  I can't argue with any of that.
  
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cupcake_wants

9 years ago

tell him that you have a penis. it works for me...

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blackcrusades

9 years ago

He must be white.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes but I don't see why that matters.
  
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  - blackcrusades
    
    9 years ago
    
    His lil white dick be no match to blackcrusades
    
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    - thegypsysailor
      
      9 years ago
      
      It's certainly NOT the size of the tool, but the expertise of the craftsman. You sound like you rely wholly on your tool.
      
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- handsignals
  
  9 years ago
  
  eat shit and die you racist cunt!
  
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dasugaknows

9 years ago

I dont see how you are so nervous about this "break up" since you say you have not done anything with this guy and you are only friends. You are 50 years old, you would think you would know something about breaking off a friendship by now. This leads me to believe that this friendship is more than you say it is. If you want him gone just tell him so and then you do your part and stay away.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  He's in his 50's, I am nowhere near 50! The issue is, I do like him as a friend it's just that the pestering has reached the point where I am more than annoyed. It sucks that he can't just stop because I'd like to still have him as a friend.
  
  Anywhoo, another thing is I'm just not good at confrontation. Especially with men. I don't know if there's a way to make him stop or if I have to break it off entirely. That's why I asked this question!
  
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  - (s)aint
    
    9 years ago
    
    Well, tell him that you MEAN it. You don't want anything but friendship with him. I get that confrontations can be hard so why not start of by texting him that you guys need to talk, then just say it.
    
    tell him you really enjoy his friendship but that you are not interested in him and that it wont ever change.
    
    Some guys are SO FUCKING STUBBORN, as if they have learned that girls in some weird universe appreciates that :S
    
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  - dasugaknows
    
    9 years ago
    
    My mistake. Just tell him not to contact you anymore and if he doesnt stop get a restraining order against him.
    
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    - RoseIsabella
      
      9 years ago
      
      Sweet sweet Sugah, I like that!
      
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Guy friend won't stop bothering me romantically?