Got more than i bargained for...

Well for starters, this isn't much of a poll but rather me just wanting to share my thoughts at the moment, so just read on and tell me what you think about it when you're done.

So, I've been an anal+vibrator masturbator for a while and I'd pretty much perfected my routine as far as enemas and knowing how deep I can take it before it goes from pleasure to pain, but for all this time I've only had one dildo in my "arsenal".. so i decided it was time to add some variety. Problem is I didn't have any money to buy one, so I looked around and found an old wooden magicians wand I used to pretend to be a wizard with as a kid.. (grew up pretty much in sync with the ages in the Harry potter movies) and I had some of this modeling clay-ish type rubber stuff made for repairing damaged wires and making custom grips or drop bumpers on your devices, which claimed to be waterproof as well. So I figured why not sculpt that old wooden stick into a diy dildo? Any who, two days later it's all cured and I've emptied out everything in my lower intestines and even a portion of my upper intestines, and I'm all lubed up inside ready for fun. Ill skip past the boring part of the fun to the end for ya. Eventually I ended up riding it so hard and deeper than is physically comfortable to take, and despite me having emptied out every trace of scat from my body, somehow the suction generated behind the dildo or something ended up pulling gunk down all the way from my stomach... I rush to the bathroom in the nude to release the imminent explosion into the toilet and clean up my ass, before defeatedly sulking back to my bed, where my dildo was still laying there where I hurriedly yanked it out. The strangest part of this whole experience is when I picked it up expecting it to be nasty and ruined like my old vibe does if I'm not clean down there, and the thing is totally spotless! I mean this thing was just buried deep in an active volcano of shit and it looks like it's never been used! I know the rubber mold stuff claimed to be waterproof, but sewageproof? This just totally befuddled me.

Any who what do you guys think about this whole ordeal? Lemme know your two cents worth.