Girls: why do you friend zone guys?

29 Comments

This is a question I am sure a lot of guys wonder about. I would like to hear comments from girls who turn down guys and why that is. From a logical point it seems the best relationships would be with your best friend but I would like to hear other peoples input about why this happens. I know there is not one answer so comments will be more helpful than the individual poll choices.

He was too nice (please comment why this is bad) 5
He was too mean 0
He was too clingy 4
He was unattractive 12
He wasn't successful 2
He was boring 3
He was pressuring to be more than friends too much 6
He had bad hygeine or habits 1
He was too stupid 3
Other (comment) 6
I'm a man but wanted to vote 21
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Comments ( 29 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago | pl

    I imagine females friend zone males for the same reason males friend zone females, because the one person is just not that into the other. It is what it is and really is not as big a deal as some people try to make it out to be.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Moving on from IIN.

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      • Freedom_
        10 years ago

        This an an asylum, sir. You've got to complete your evaluation first.

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  • ScooterNyne
    10 years ago | pl

    Everyone makes the "friend-zone" out to be this complex idea or theory that explains why in the world, god for bid, another human being didn't want to date or fuck you. That somehow there's some deep hidden explanation for why you aren't dating someone rather than putting your self confidence on the line and just accepting that not every girl in the world wants your dick.

    Here's an idea guys. take a look at all your friends that are girls that you would NEVER sleep with or date. yep. that's the friend-zone. I know right?! It's THAT fucking simple.

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  • Shoefish
    10 years ago | pl

    Because I don't have romantic or sexual feelings for every single guy who shows interest in me.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    10 years ago | pl

    I friendzone everyone because I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone. Can't take it personal.

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  • RacksOnRacks
    10 years ago

    Isn't it obvious? We friend zone guys because we basically don't feel 'that way' towards them. They're just not our type. End of story.

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  • ThisIsImpossible
    10 years ago | pl

    Whatever man, friend zoning is crap made up by dudes that want an excuse for not getting a girl they want. Oh im totally boyfriend material and she's my friend I should be entitled to date her if I want. Yuh maybe she just isn't into you get the fuck over it, she doesnt owe you anything, not even an explaination if she doesnt want to expain herself. Move on and find someone else. Or stop being friends with girls if you cant handle not catching feelings.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      How ignorant. I am not the type of guy you explained, quite the opposite. Infact, I have been in positions when females friendzone great guys because they are interested in me, someone that has barely even connected with them, and I can easily say that, from what people would deem an "asshole", that you're wrong.

      The "friendzone" does exist, not only for guys, but let's stick on topic.

      Who said anything about "entitled". You do realize you can be irritated about this thing and not feel "entitled". For example, I understood when someone in my class was friendzoned, despite how much they knew eachother and got along, so that she could try be with me, someone she barely knew and showed no real interest. She blew off the idea of a relationship with a nice, good guy that she liked and got along with her whole life, for someone she barely knew but "liked".

      I do agree, she may not be in to them, and that is fine, nobody gets to dictate who someone else feels, but that doesn't mean someone can't be annoyed that someone who is a good person, a better person, would be moved over for someone that either the person, man or woman, doesn't know much of or is a bad person in comparison.

      Personally, I get sick of seeing people in the friendzone, despite how my position is the opposite of theirs. I don't always dislike it, because like you said, and I agree with, they are not entitled to the person they like, male or female, but I dislike it when they have friendzoned these guys that have all the traits she claims to have wanted in a guy, yet then friendzones guys that are the closest to such a description for the furthest possible thing from the description.

      I get why people would be upset at being friendzoned, but I also get that people are not entitled to having the people they crush on like them back in the same manner, however to be one of these people that claim to want a certain type of guy to try make themselves seem like they're so moral for wanting a guy with positive moral traits, then disregarding all the shallow traits you like in a partner, then friendzoning the ones that fall under those descriptions because the discriptions given were just some moral highground stance disregarding the shallow aspects that without, atleast to a limit, would mean the one sin the description fit don't get a chance because they don't fit the shallow aspects you also like that you did not list off because they want to seem like a moral, unshallow (we all are to extents) person that gave the impression the types of people with the traits on the list have a chance, when they don't.

      People are not entitled to their crush's attraction, male or female, however if you are one of those people that give the impression certain types of people have a chance because they fit the description you made that isn't true or only have a few of the traits that without the one you didn't list wouldn't have a chance, then don't get pissy when people get annoyed when you are complaining about finding a good guy when plenty are around and you are friendzoning them.

      Friendzoning: Ok.
      Friendzoning the types of guys you claim there are none for, and then going for the complete opposite just to complain because...They are the opposite: Allowed, but not ok.

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      • ThisIsImpossible
        10 years ago

        See, the point you're missing is that she doesnt have to list off every single trait she requires, if she says you dont fit, ya dont fit. Big fuckin whoop. Sure she may say she cant find a nice guy but she might not be mentioning she cant find a nice guy thats at least 6' with red hair (or implant any other physical trait, or hobby, or skill, etc.), it still doesnt matter.

        She doesnt have to include that, its not a job application, and if someone goes for it thinking because they befrienfed her and are emotionally involved with her on a platonic level that it somehow gives them more of a chance then get ready for a long life of wasted time cus you couldah went for 1,000 girls by the time you worked up the courage to ask that one, with some hidden agenda to be with them, thinking that becoming friends first will somehow sneak you in backstage to avoid the rejection. And no Im not talking about you specifically, I dont know anything about you I was just making a general example of dudes that complain about the friendzone.

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          The point you are missing is that by listing off the things you want, it gives the impression that those with the things listed, have a chance. It's a half truth, and half truths are misleading.
          She says you don't fit, then fine, you don't fit, nothing wrong with it, but if she makes a list, intentionally missing out the traits that are shallow, then people with the positive traits but not the shallow ones will get the impression they have a chance, and when they don't, they risk the rejection due to only gaining half requirements to have a chance, and then to have that person then complains that she can't find the guys that she wants when there are plenty fitting the description she gave, she gives this "where are all the good men", when there are plenty, when she doesn't simply want a "good man".

          My comment on that aspect was for when a woman does make a public "requirement", not when she simply isn't finding the type of guy she wants without describing the guy she wants.

          Well that's the thing, isn't it? How is one supposed to know another is a "good person" without getting to know them first? They couldn't, not on an emotional level.

          Don't worry, I didn't assume you were speaking about me.

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          • ThisIsImpossible
            10 years ago

            Whatever man, saying I wish I could find a good guy but not you can be the same thing as saying she thinks you're nice she just finds you shitass ugly (not you in particular, hypothetical circumstance). She doesnt have to explain anything, theres no guy talking to their "friendzoned" girls like "yeah we have fun together, but your tits are too small", because he doesn't have to explain himself. This friendzoned hype is just a bunch of dudes trying to guilt girls into feeling stupid for not going for the nice guy, when the reality is 9/10 nice guys are just lame, the interesting/attractive nice guys do not have this problem.

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            • [Old Memory]
              10 years ago

              Exactly, that's my point. Claiming to "only" want positive moral traits in a partner while being reluctant to mentioning you want a partner for shallow reasons aswell is what I am saying.

              Again, don't worry about it, I understand your intention.

              No, she doesn't have to explain it, but that doesn't mean there is no just reason in being irritated by the moral charade that are only half true.

              "Trying to guilt girls". This is not just a "guy" thing, so's you know. I have friendzoned people before, guys I know have done the same.

              Again, I disagree. I have known plenty of interesting "nice guys", and even seen some of them passed up for the boring attractive guys, which is fine until they complain they want the type they passed up and that none that fit the ones they claim to want have been friendzoned.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      You seem to be misunderstanding the point of my post.
      I didn't make this poll to complain, but it is a frequent topic that people often wonder why.
      I think an explaination is important because it can help with understanding what went wrong and to help them improve themselves. I'm not saying anyone should be with someone they're not into but it's nice to understand situations instead of wondering how things didn't work out. Personally I will only date girls I have been friends with for a while because it doesn't make sense to me to date someone I do not know really well.

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  • Shrunk
    10 years ago

    "friend zone"... means she is not sexually attracted to you, plain and simple.. not all girls are sexually attracted by appearance, either. I mean, do all guys really want to sleep with any girl who is attractive..? if so, there is your answer. The girl wants more of a reason for why you're "in love" than just "youre hot"

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  • Acerbic
    10 years ago

    Firstly, this is going to be a long comment. Lazy readers beware.

    I don't really believe in this whole "friend zone" thing, but I do have a few reasons as to why I've romantically turned down guys I otherwise liked in a friendship capacity. It's not so much that there is anything wrong with those men, it's just that I've dated enough and know myself well enough to know that I'm romantically compatible with certain traits and not so much with others.

    For me, there is such a thing as being too nice. Kindness is important, but I've noticed that in some people, it can get to the point where that trait is their only real noticeable one, which does get boring. I do want kindness in a man, but in a balanced way.
    As for meanness, I don't go for the "bad guy," but it does depend on the context. I have a sharp, bitter sense of humor and occasionally disposition; I need a guy who can appreciate that and give it back on occasion, but abusive meanness just for the sake of it is a deal-breaker.

    Intelligence is one of, if not the most important in traits that I look for, so I don't think I'd even be able to be friends with an absurdly stupid person. I doubt we would have enough common interests to be able to relate to one another.

    Clingy/neediness is unattractive if it's too much. I'm pretty aloof and while I do want to feel needed, feeling suffocated will send me running unless they learn to control it.

    Obviously, attractiveness is important to an extent as much as I'd like for it not to be. It goes hand-in-hand with hygiene. I tend to go for unique looks rather than conventional handsomeness, though.

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    There is a certain lack of passion in a platonic relationship. Suck chemistry just is not there.

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    • Freedom_
      10 years ago

      Wow, I must have been tired. Idk where 'suck chemistry' came from. It's like I was possessed by peterr.

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  • noid
    10 years ago

    Unattractive or not my type.

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  • Shelbs
    10 years ago

    Uhm I would say the reasons would be that, he was too mean, too clingy, unattractive, pressuring me, had bad hygiene and was too stupid.

    Being nice isn't bad, actually it's good. It's the clinginess that often comes with niceness that's bothersome.

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  • Goomats
    10 years ago

    It is so stupid when people talk about "the friend zone". You can have zillions of friends but only one BF (at least at time) so you are more likely to be just a friend with any woman you meet. We "friendzone" a guy if we like them but do not want to get physical and be in an exclusive relationship with them and we would rather date other guys.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      This makes more sense than anything else. Thanks for a good answer.

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      • Goomats
        10 years ago

        No problem.

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    I think it's a subconscious thing.

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  • davesumba
    10 years ago

    This has to be up there for most retarded post. And is one of the reasons so many relationships fail if you simply think that girls should be dating people they aren't meant to be with instead of friendzoning them.

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    You can friend-zone me and then I won't feel guilty for not warning you that I am about to cum in your mouth.

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  • bananapie
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't wanna be together with someone if I didn't have feelings for them. Things like that can't be forced and it's better to tell the truth than misleading someone.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    10 years ago

    I've only friend zoned two guys, one because he was an immature idiot who nobody liked and the other because he was a huge man-slut. Not to mention neither of them were exactly attractive.

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  • Laststand
    10 years ago

    I've been friend zoned but at the same time I know it was one was discovering her self and eventually became a Lesbian and married her partner and the other well hesitated and waited an missed my moment when she felt the same. Friend zone does exist with women but all depends on the personality of the women. And as a man we can't be using this as an excuse for when we strike out or she just not that in to you

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