Girlfriend dumps me. never an explanation. addicted to weed. confused.

23% Normal
6 Comments

Hello, I'm 18 and go to college, for the past 8 months I've been in and out of a relationship with this girl. She recently broke up with me, this has happened 5 times in the past, (I've never broken up with her). She never gives a reason for ending it though. I'm positive there's a connection between us because I've shared some of the funniest & most amazing moments of my life with her and I know she feels the same. But here's the confusing bit, she's always depressed about something. It could be family, going by the fact she's never felt comfortable talking about her childhood, but she's always slightly down about something she wont tell me about. Sometimes she cries just to make me sad so I'll comfort her. I wont go into all that detail but she's been doing it for 8 months and she makes me feel really, really depressed. I noticed myself staying out later, staying away from home, I started to smoke weed a lot more, (on average, 3-4 grams a day) sometimes I end up spending £100's at once just so I know I've got enough weed to last me the next couple of days, I stopped eating proper meals at fixed times (this has taken its toll on my body) I've become a lot skinnier these past few months, but recently I've been having strange nightmares of killing her & her dying. I wont describe the dreams but their pretty frequent. I wake up feeling so angry I get light headed and end up having to smoke a joint to cool myself down. Please can somebody tell me,

1. Why is she constantly trying to upset me?
2. What's with the random break up's? Any ideas? (and don't say weed please, I'm not some teenage drug taking idiot, there's definitely other reason(s)
3. Why does my mind drive me to smoke all this weed?

And can someone explain the strange dreams? Anyone had the same problem?
Help, help, help, help appreciated.

Much love x

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23% Normal
Based on 53 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • so_damn_unpretty
    13 years ago

    I was like that with my bf to... ive never been diagnosed with depresion but i have a long famiy history with that and alot of other mental illness... im 90% sure i have some sort of chemical imbalance as im often really sad and cant control my feeings.. i was reay scared to talk to him... you might have to probe for answers... make sure she knows she can talk to you about anytyhing, and that whatever is up you'll be there. If she's gunna keep dumping you though, id say to peace out, if your nice enough to support her she'll have to meet you have way, she'll have to open and up and work on things.

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  • BenM
    14 years ago

    Thanks for writing back, I think she holds me responsible for the reason her and her mum don't get along well any more, although she's way to stubborn for a counselor.
    She's having a hard time in school keeping up with her predicted grades, this has obviously stressed her out. But I think for now the best thing to do would be to fix ourselves or we can try and fix each other. I'm hoping I haven't completely misunderstood your explanation :P

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  • iHatemF
    14 years ago

    1. She may have as you suspect, not have a good relationship with her family. So she unconsciously upsets you. Overall she is emotionally unstable and may need a counselor.
    2. Your girlfriend might get emotional sometimes and thinks of all the worrying she has to do. (Relationships, Work, School, etc.) It could be anything. Try making her feel safe.
    3. You might've been affected by her depressions and have negative thoughts yourself. Drugs are only a temporary fix, it's not a permanent solution.

    Either way, you'll have to stabilize this relationship if you want to stay with her. Or you might think it's better to distance yourselves because being depressed all the time isn't a good thing.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Word of warning: You can become addicted to anything you start to rely on. Don't give me that Weed isn't addciting shit. You need to straighten you're sorry ass out. Stop seeing this girl because she's unhealthy for you, let her sort out her own problems, stop weed cold turkey just to make sure you CAN. And find another girl. Solid advice, do it.

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  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago

    She's done with you dude, she breaking up with you for a reason, and only getting back together with you in order to use you as a place holder until she can find another willing candidate.

    This happened to one of my close friends not to long ago, and I tried to point out the signs to him as well, but he didn't listen, and sure enough when she finally left him for good, she had a new boyfriend that same day, meaning she was talking to other guys all along.

    I advise you to rotate ASAP unless you plan on being hurt further by this chick. Replace her completely with at least a few other girls.

    Oh, and one more thing, excessive smoking is bad for you bro, trust me, I'm a season smoker and I'm winding down from my bad habit right now. All that stuff does is takes your bad emotions and exaggerates them, and if you smoke too much, you might not realize its the weed that makes you feel low, because its something you do everyday so it doesn't seem like a factor, but trust me it WILL mind fuck you.

    I wish you the best of luck though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I think you blame her for your problems - but you are the one fucking up left right and center. Bo wonder she breaks up with you & feels depressed. You are acting like a great big loser.

    Leave her out of and take some responsibility for yourself and your own nasty habits/lifestyle.

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