Girl number 4

87% Normal
14 Comments

*Long post* Please be nice.

There was this girl that I knew. The first day that I met her, as soon as I saw her, I knew she was different. She had that look in her eyes; she was like me. Some of you might know what I mean. The different ones always recognize each other.

One of the first things that I told her was that she was very pretty. I know that she liked me too in the beginning. I could tell. We listened to the same type of music and shared similar interests. Ours was different, we had an intellectual connection that was special.

We became friends and decided to hang out one day. While we were hanging out she took me to a certain place and wanted me to kiss her. Being the awkward and inexperienced person that I was/still am, I flubbed the opportunity and kept talking. Right then she got very offended and would not speak to me for almost the rest of the night because of a silly joke I made when I was stalling. I was just nervous, I never intended to offend her.

After that incident we stayed friends for about another 3 years and became quite close in a way, but she never gave me a chance to be with her. I still wonder why. WHY! How was I not good enough for her. What were her reasons. I still think about her often, and It hurts me so much, because I am a very lonely guy and have been for a long time now. I KNOW we could have had something special. Even, if only, for a little while. One day, I finally got fed up with always being teased and tempted by her and so I disconnected with her for quite a while (about a year). Only recently have I started to talk to her again on Facebook.

Is it normal that I still wonder at what could have been and why it never was?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 54 votes (47 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 14 )
  • stonecutters93
    12 years ago

    I'm curious, how hard was it cut her out? And did she try to contact you at all during that time? I only ask because I'm in a similar situation a certain girl I want to be with but can't.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Of course it was hard, it was REALLY hard! She was a really good friend of mine for a long time, one of my best friends, and separating myself from her was not an easy process. I just couldn't bear to be around her anymore. I liked her so much and I realized that It was easier to not be around her at all than it was to be around her and not be able to be with her. The temptation and deprivation was painful and depressing and probably lowered my self esteem even more than it already was.

      Not only was I connected to her, but also her grandma and little sister, who she lived with, were family to me and vice versa.

      She did contact me in the beginning asking me to come over to help with something because I often did before, but this time I did not comply. She was smart and eventually I believe she understood that I did not want to see her anymore.

      I also moved shortly after the start of my hiatus with her. If I had not moved, I know I would have broken down and went to see her again (especially since I lived really close to her). I do not regret cutting her out like I did, I only regret not doing it sooner. Although I am still very lonely, my life is a little easier now that she is not a big part of it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • flipflapflop
    12 years ago

    I would just leave it. Perhaps the time has passed. It´s sad of course but would you be able to cope if she turned you down? Can you imagine how much more pain it would cause you, plus if she did turn you down you could lose her as a friend yet once again. I would give it time and hope for the best, how do you know another girl wont just come along just like that one did, out of the blue. Do what you feel is right but, this is just my advice. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Thank you, I believe you are correct. The time has passed. Your advice is much appreciated.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    you could try again, of course you run the risk of being disillusioned but at least you will know, ask her flat out to go out and take it from there

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Yes, I would definitely take that into consideration if sometime in the future she were to be single and we were hanging out again. I would let her know up front that I wanted more than just friendship. For now, though, I am fine with being just friends with her. Thank you for your comment.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • dancergirl
    12 years ago

    well yes it's normal but who said u still can't make something happen, just keep talking to her and explain why u didn't make a move earlier she will understand especially if u r as close as it sounds and that's prob the reason why she started separating herself from u she thought u didn't like her cause u didn't make a move so just tell her everything and u can still have something very special

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Actually, I separated myself from her. I got tired of the way she treated me sometimes and I think she used me. I do not know if it was intentional or not. Regardless, she was a good friend most of the time. I am ok with being just friends with her now. I just want to know why she did things the way she did. Thank you for your comment though, I appreciate it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • BraveNewWorld
    12 years ago

    You probably gave her the impression that you weren't into her, and that's a serious problem. Look at it from her perspective: She put herself out there, for you and made herself vulnerable, and got nothing but embarrassment in return. She's not going to want to go through that again.

    Still, if you stayed friends, you still have a shot, potentially. Especially if you take the offensive. You got to make her know that you were just nervous and awkward, before, but that you're ready (make sure you do this face to face, by the way; facebook is no place for this type of thing). It's going to take a bit of courage, and you may still get shot down, but as I see it, it's your only real option.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You might be right, I probably did give a not so good first impression. I am ok with being just friends now though, I just have unrest about why she never gave me a second chance or why she thought I was not good enough for her or something, but thank you for your advice. I really do appreciate it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • livnlrn93
    12 years ago

    Everybody feels that way at some point hon, I know I have. I'm lonely too, not because I'm "waiting for the right guy" but because the only guys that have asked me out have been on the Internet. Get out there and start looking, you never know who you'll find =)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You are right, and thank you.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • dom180
    12 years ago

    Well, when you didn't kiss her then she probably thought that you were not interested. She obviously thought that you were a nice guy, or else she wouldn't have stayed friends. If you really like her then you should meet up, so long as she's still single. She will almost certainly want to meet up, as friends at first. Then just see how it goes from there. You've got nothing to lose. And DO NOT WAIT for her to give you the chance next time, make it certain that you want to be with her early on, or she'll presume that you only want to be friends like before.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Well, we have talked about meeting up recently. I really have mixed feeling about her. I resent her quite a bit because of certain things she did and the way she treated me sometimes. She was mostly a good friend though and I was a very nice guy to her for a long time. I am ok with not being with her and have moved on with the rest of my life, but my unrest comes from that fact that she never gave me a chance to be with her. In my mind, I can not figure out why she did not want to be with me and it drives me nuts sometimes...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0