Gay but against gay marriage? iin?

You dipwads opposing gays raising kids are forgetting that a lot of kids are lucky to even have two parents. A lot are raised by single moms.

Straight marriage works out so well that only half end up in divorce.

As somebody in a gay relationship, I can tell you that certain things are afforded to couples in marriage that aren't afforded otherwise, such as parental custody for both parents for example. Basically without the ability to marry, the government considers your significant other as just some roomate with no interpersonal relationship to you.

Idk, I think it's weird for sure. I don't really understand why you think that gay couples couldn't make good parents, but whatever, you said you aren't interested in a debate.

Here's one thing you should consider though & it's something to definitely think about if you end up in a super long-term, committed relationship.

Marriage isn't just about emotional commitment or creating families, it's also a legal contract, that comes with rights and protections. It means that you have access to your spouse's medical records & the ability to make medical decisions; it means that you get tax breaks; it means that you legally combine & share assets, so you have rights- should you separate.

Idk if you can imagine being with someone for 30+ years, and not even being allowed in the room after they get critically injured in a car accident because you aren't immediate family...that shit happens to gay couples all the time.

Now, in an area where only straight marriage is legal, straight couples are protected by "civil union" laws after they've been together for a certain number of years (and cohabitate etc), so they are legally considered to be in a de facto marriage & are legally afforded the same rights & protections. Gay couples are not.

So, it's not just about families & shit, it's also about taxes, paperwork, access to records, medical decisions, assets, finances, joint property ownership & a slew of other issues.

it might be ideal to raise a child with a mother and a father. But would you rather a child in an adoption center stay without parents or get adopted by a couple of the same sex? Also we barely had that right for long enough to even figure out the issues that come with it, unless you have that opinion for religious reasons. We don't live in the past anymore, there are several new forms of families being explored. I'm pretty sure too there are people who turned out to be great people although they had a single parent. And i believe you're entitled to your opinion as long as you don't actively work on taking away that right that gay people had fought for for centuries.

It could also be a brainwashed homosexual who hates themselves and other gays.

You're a hypocrite for stating you're gay, you don't agree with gay marriage, and that gay marriage isn't a role model for kids! You're not a true gay person for thinking that! You're just an empty shell of a man who can't come to terms of marriage as a whole! I'm bi and I disagree on your views! It doesn't matter if the relationship is straight/gay/les/bi/trans/queer, if both people are happy, let them be!

Your deception theory sounds both interesting and plausible. I say this because lesbians are often deceptive enough to marry men and get children off of them.

Meh. Sounds like cognitive bias is likely working against your better judgement. Parenting is a separate issue from property rights and the alternate representation to which gay couples should be entitled. The OP is making the point that dynamics of a gay marriage will always be a bit different than having a Mom who is female. After all, the neural wiring of motherhood as well as fatherhood for all species has been evolving for millennia.

Not normal. Also, read CountessDouche's comment.

I wouldn't say it's normal but I definitely understand your view point on how a family should be raised.

In my opinion, gay marraige doesn't exist anyway.

I agree with your position on gay marriage. As you said: "Its one man one woman and thats the ideal pairing for raising a family."

I don't have a problem, with gay marriage, because life partners, significant others, etc., were historically cheated out of property, life insurance, etc, when their "mate" passed away.
It's also necessary, for medical life & death decision making.

The problem I DO HAVE, is when gay / lesbian couples ADOPT children.
I'm modern enough, to approve/accept homosexuals, but old-fashioned enough, to believe that children should be raised by a MOTHER and FATHER.

Why should ANY child have to explain why they have 2 moms, or 2 dads, to their schoolmates? It's just shoving homosexuality, down our throats, and our kids throats, as being "NORMAL" ....

Kinda like gay parades. We don't have heterosexual parades, and advertise our NON-gayness.

Wanna be gay? Be gay, but remember you are the minority. Have respect for the majority of us. Your sexual preference, is YOUR business.... don't make it OUR'S !!

Just my opinion, so if you don't agree, that's your right. Just don't criticize me, for MY beliefs....(please).

im bi but id never fuck a guy irl

Or.... ya know...... a super 8... a hooker off I-90... and a broken condom.....;) its 2019 dude

Hey man..... lets talk ... from one gay man to another... I am gay and held the same wierd EXTREMELY unconventional (for a gay person) belief as you YEARS ago... a very good friend helped me open my eyes to the truth... there is nothing wrong with gay marrage and to think that one day along time ago I thought otherwise truly disgusts me.... it was turning my back on not only myself but who I am... (im not being mean) :) but please be true to who you are and embrace it! besides marriage and children are two separate things!

—-The thought of one day having a loving husband and family is really the only reason i can bare to live on this earth anymore... have some pride man...🏳️‍🌈

Good luck and i hope you have a great day everyone!

You're certain huh? How is that exactly?

I'm bisexual and against gay marriage.
My position on the matter is much the same as yours. I'm concerned by how coercive the politics is, too. Running up to my city's LGBT Pride March, key figures don't just praise businesses that support Pride, but are talking about calling out businesses that DON'T support Pride, and criticising businesses that use LGBT rainbows in their marketing around Pride March time without expressly supporting Pride. Like, 'how dare you be neutral'.

We are in a unique position to present this position because it is harder to say to us 'you don't know what it's like', or (making it an identity politics issue) 'how dare you, a part of the majority, restrict the rights of an already persecuted minority that you don't belong to'. Except that there are some issues with making sexual preference a permanent marker of identity, like race is... not all people identify under the same label all their lives long.

Fucking idiots throwing around the word 'homophobe' sound like programmed fools to me. A phobia is an irrational fear. I have no fear of gays, but that doesn't mean I think two people of the same sex make a marriage. But guess what? I don't give a fuck. Let em marry for all I care. Dipshits that try to shame people by throwing around the 'phobia' argument are the ones I can't stand.

Until we see the aftermath of a gay couple raising a child, it’ll be legal, probably just experimenting to see if it does make a difference.

Marriage is one of those things that I think is quite sacred and traditional, it just seems wrong, man and wife... Man and... Man? Doesn’t quite sound right when you say it, does it?

Meh, we’re not used to change I guess, I won’t and others won’t agree with it until the day they die, same as racists, but the next generations will act like it’s normal.

It’s the whole raising a kid thing that gets to me, I hate the idea of being raised by gay parents, what if I started talking the way they do? Dressing the way they do? Liking the same music? Moving the same way? What if then other students thought I was gay?

Who would be my role model, the type of role model who the girl I like would be attracted to? What if she wants a manly man?

What if seeing two men kiss confused me when I was a child? What impact could that have?

A lot of questions, but no answers because we don’t know the results... Any we have seen probably hasn’t been enough people to know for sure, we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes.

Two lesbians might be alright, but two gay fathers? Having just a father is already a problem, you need a mother really, a dad you can live without... I’m just wondering if there’s something about a way a woman is to their child that a man could never be.

Do girls (or boys) grow up normally without a mother? What percentage of them are absolutely normal? Think about kids who grow up without a father... You never hear about what happens with kids who grow up without a mother, it’s rare.

Also, what happens if the gay couple breaks up? When a couple breaks up the child always stays with the mother.

Marriage doesn't equal children. It's simply just a contract, an agreement that was used to bond families and even countries together. Time warped its true meaning, religions adopted the practice then made it a tradition for many to promote purity and controlled reproduction among men and women. If homophobia wasn't so prevalent in religious communities, there wouldn't be any problems with gays getting married. Basically, what I'm saying is marriage doesn't have to mean children. Children in marriage is an enforced religious norm that oddly enough many seem to accept; but it's perfectly normal to get married and not have any children.

Now on to the main discussion. I get what you're saying about gays and children, because in the wild it would be biologically impossible for two males/females to reproduce on their own, which makes it seem as though gay relationships are unnatural. However, humans are extremely ambiguous, there's simply no right or wrong answer to the many things we do; it just needs to feel right to us individually and this includes our choices in mates. Also, though men and women are two halves to one whole, on a global scale we refuse to actually take the time to understand each other and value one another. To many men, women are weak thus only useful for child baring and servitude. To many women, men are aggressive and controlling thus lacking empathy. Though we're divided on race, religion, sports and whatnot, it has nothing on the timeless classic of men and women treating each other like shit in various cultures, and we don't need love to make a baby, which is why there are so many who needs loving homes. I understand that men can provide a male perspective and woman can provide the other, making the child knowledgeable of both sides, but they can easily learn from their sister/brother, Aunt/Uncle, Grandma/grandpa, if not from their gay parents. What child raising boils down to is having a stable, safe environment and proper mental/emotional nourishment.

Basically, I disagree. If two men or women want to raise a child, as long as they're financially and emotionally stable enough to create a healthy environment filled with love and support, then I don't see why they aren't fit to be good parents.

Just because you oppress yourself does not mean you should oppress others. You literally only have control over you, and you only. So do whats best for you and let others do whats best for them.

Being against your own human rights is not normal. You sound like you have deep rooted feelings of homophobia and inferiority to straight people. Perhaps you hold these views because on some level you think that if you put down gay people homophobic straight people will be more accepting of you?

I’ll admit I haven’t read all the comments but you mentioned gay couples having a “back door” to rights as a married couple, suggesting you see being gay as something shameful to be hidden away.

My two cents is that you never got over the homophobia and isolation you faced growing up, you long for conservative heterosexual acceptance and place far too great a value on it, to the point that you are willing to degrade yourself in the hope of winning approval.

Definitely not normal. Most homophobes are straight, just like most misogynists are men and most racists are white. Most people who are any of the three are all three and they’re straight white men, usually Christians, because people who experience discrimination and oppression usually sympathize with other people who are discriminated against and oppressed.

I have a totally irrelevant question. Is it bad to ask for a friend without saying your asking for a friend?

Maybe I'm not gay I don't know? Sex is sure fun with other guys tho. I like how I make a serious post and your response is just "your not gay". Like really? Now I don't get help for my question because you don't believe what I say in the post. What harm does it do you to believe me anyways?

Its not normal, no.

I do not think this is normal because you should always be advocate for your own kind. Particularly on such an important issue.