Friends jealous of friends' relationships? is that normal?

81% Normal
5 Comments

Has anyone else ever noticed one of their friends, or someone you know that had a friend who got kind of jealous and bitter when one of their friends got a girlfriend or boyfriend? All of a sudden, the friend is over protective and expects the friend to put them first, before the boyfriend or girlfriend. What the hell is up with that? I get that when you're like 15 and casually dating, fine, don't blow your friends off for a meaningless relationship. However, when you're in your goddamn twenties, it seems abit childish to get jealous of your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend. Is it normal for people to become so jealous of and possessive over their friends like that?

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 16 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    If I make plans with a friend and they ditch me last minute, I'm entitled to be mad at said friend, especially when it constantly happens. If you make plans with someone and bail last minute it's rude. Then said friend expects you to drop all of your plans to hangout because their plans with their boyfriend fell through? Uh not going to happen. And then that friend feels like they have a right to get mad at you for not dropping your plans to be with them?

    It's so fucking frustrating having a friend like that in your life, they expect you to be there and drop plans for them but they ditch you without thought. I don't see why i should be their doormat in order for this friendship to work, it's toxic. It's not even worth being friends with them anymore. Lol I'm sorry I just unleashed all of my personal frustrations into this comment.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Obviously making plans and then bailing is unnacceptable. If you happened to have a significant other you'd rather be with, you don't make plans with friends. Simple as that. I get annoyed when people ditch plans too, but what I'm talking about is the type of person who expects their friend to constantly make plans with them, even if the person would rather be with their SO. I have a friend who I see less than once a month. I don't expect her to constantly make plans with me or otherwise our friendship isn't good enough or some bullshit, because that's ridiculous. I also expect everyone in my life to realise and accept that my boyfriend comes first, and if they don't like that, they are more than welcome to not consider me a friend anymore.

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  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    I've had that happen to me quite a bit, and not just in my teens and early twenties. For me, I think it's par for the course, but that's because I'm female, and I've always tended to have close friendships with males.

    In an opposite sex relationship, when someone starts dating, things inevitably have to change. You need to establish new boundaries, new rules, new parameters; things change. I assume the same would be true for same sex friendships, albeit to a lesser extent. Simply put, some friendships don't survive that. The ones that do are the ones worth keeping.

    True friends do understand that they won't always be your first priority.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I agree that true friends will realise that they cannont possibly expect to be put first before one's significant other. The idea of it is just ridiculous. My boyfriend and I lost a few friends a few months after we started dating. Showed us who our real friends were (and weren't) all along.

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  • AlphaQ
    9 years ago

    They are just upset they're in the friend zone. thats all. nothing will ever become more than just friends.

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