Four years and still waiting

77% Normal
10 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for four years, we've lived together for three. We've had ups and downs but we our relationship has been solid for a long time. I know he's the one and he's said that he couldn't be without me, but he shows no interest in proposing to me. He's a bit selfish and likes to save money, but he knows that I don't want a huge rock. Just something that confirms his committment to me. He knows I want it but still refuses. Is it normal to feel upset and angry about this?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 110 votes (85 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • disthing
    12 years ago

    Depends why he isn't doing it.

    Some people think marriage is a waste of time i.e. an empty and commercialised display of commitment which needlessly complicates things and can cost a lot. They might argue the fact that they adore you and tell you they love you and have been with you for 4 years should be enough. If this is your guy, then it's a difficult one. You may need to compromise and have something cheap, low key - it's still legal and official but doesn't involve the fan fair and massive costs. Discuss it with him.

    Some people are afraid or very reluctant to tie the knot because they fear if things take a turn for the worse, they're 'trapped'. If this is your guy, then it's another difficult one. If he's too scared to take the risk, in means he doesn't imagine you have a stable future together. He's preparing for the worst. Depending on how much marriage matters to you, and it sounds like it matters a lot, you may want to accept the inevitable. Either you understand his fear and get over your wedding dream, or give him an ultimatum; marriage or nothing.

    Really though, if you love him THAT much, you should be able to stick with him without marriage. Similarly, if he loves you THAT much, he should be able to take the leap and make you happy. Compromise.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • panvicka
    13 years ago

    marriage is not everything :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • inlove89
    14 years ago

    Timmy420 I think u need a new guy if he won't even call u his gf after three years!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • queenZEBRA
    14 years ago

    Maybe he's just the kinda guy who will never get married. My uncles like that. He dated a lady for 10 yrs and never preposed.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • inlove89
    14 years ago

    Why not u propose to him

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • annm2361
    11 years ago

    My blokes the same 5 years I've done. We have talked about it but he is a commitment fob. Plus think tight lol. He listen to stories of going wrong and thinks il take half even tho the house is mine but a ho. Good luck u ;)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • devilan04
    13 years ago

    better come to the conclusion.who knows if that guy find other way round? be carefull. At the same time keep your confident.trust your love..its normal, get pissed off

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • monkey92
    13 years ago

    Why don't u give him some hints , find many ways on the Internet! It'll work, and talk about it more often, in a disumulating way.)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • timmy420
    14 years ago

    I'm in a similar situation... I've been with my guy for three years now and he seems totally comitted but still won't call me his girlfriend and won't tell me he loves me :(

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • prayerwarrior75
    14 years ago

    If he really loves you he will merry you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -2
    -2